I'm a PWP, not a carer, but I care.
I really felt for you when I read your post, as, like your husband, I can be incredibly difficult to live with.
i can experience such powerful anger, that I feel afraid and ashamed of, and I don't always know what to do with it. So it's usually my poor old Mum that bears the brunt of it. She's elderly and not well herself.
I moved in with her about a year after splitting up with my husband, when both of us were more able.
however, as my PD progressed, the medication increased, and so did my mood swings.
i would say or do something that would really hurt mum,I would then give myself a hard time, resulting in me getting angry with myself resulting in anther round of anger that mum felt was directed at her. A really vicious circle, spiralling out of control.
I was lucky enough to eventually spot what was happening and could take steps towards dealing with it.
I knew it was a combination of the disease and side effects of the drugs that was causing it. I managed to talk to friends and my PD nurse about it , and found that very helpful, coming up with creative ways to deal with it.
Mum still doesn't understand why I get so angry, and she will not speak about it with anyone as she is a very private person. I feel that if she could talk with someone who could try and explain things better than I can, it would make things easier for us both to understand each other.
I'm wondering if you or your husband may recognize any of this, and if so, whether you could approach someone to help you both with the awful state you both must be experiencing?
I do wish that you could both find a way through this together.
good luck to you both,