Independent Dad living on his own

Dad has been living with PD and Chronic back pain (and a few other things) for last 10yrs.
Been on his own now since losing Mum suddenly 2.5yrs ago.
He built from the same stuff that Bruce Willis played in the film Die Hard, doesn’t need any help or fuss.

But since lockdown I (and other some family members) have noticed changes which are getting progressively worse, this includes the following.
Forgetfulness and confusion (even though he passed memory test 18 month ago)
Mobility (after a failed back operation he is now limited to maybe 50m before he needs to sit down)
Lack of sleep 5-6 hrs a good night
Takes around 2hrs maybe longer to get showered and dressed in the mornings.
Still does most his own housework even though the lower back has completely disintegrated.
He is drinking and on some nights over his recommended weekly recommended allowance in one night.
Sometimes he forgets to take his tablet’s on time and on some occasions not at all.
He is not eating a healthy balanced diet, mostly a banana for breakfast and a sandwich, soup or ready meal for dinner unless he is out with family he get’s a pub meal.
But sometimes TBH I think he forgets to eat.

He is losing interest from time to time in his hobbies and pastimes.
I am not his primary carer and as a family we do what we can, when we can and we obviously want him to keep as much of his independence as possible.

This is a difficult subject for the family to discuss what is best for Dad.
Any advice is muchly appreciated.

Hi @superswift and welcome to our forum. You’ll find our members very friendly and supportive, making it a great place to talk about whatever is concerning you. I’m sorry that you haven’t heard anything from the others yet but I’m sure they’ll be along soon.

Of course you’re worried about your dad. He wants to be independent, but at the same time he seems less able to manage things alone. The things you’ve mentioned are common in people with Parkinson’s and I hope that he has a GP or Parkinson’s nurse that he can talk to and get help from. Have you had a chance to talk to them yourself, Mark?

I’d encourage you to read this page on our website about how Parkinson’s can progress. As well, because you mentioned a loss of interest in hobbies and pastimes, it’s worth reading about some of the common mental health issues.

Our free and confidential Helpline is available to you on 0808 800 0303. Our advisers are there to listen and support you with anything you’d like some help with.

Best wishes,
Forum Moderation Team

Hi Mark,
You may already have progressed with another plan but would you consider having a carer come in maybe twice a day? Of a morning to help get your dad a good start to the day with breakfast and medication taken on time, maybe again in the evening so that dinner and medication is also covered? You will know your dad’s routine best.

As regards the alcohol, if someone was calling in the evening would he be less likely to drink? Could family take turns to do video call or something? What does he drink and could the amount he has in stock be limited? For this reason we have stopped buying alcohol for my own father at Christmas. If he drinks beer, would he try the 0% variety in between the normal stuff? Or point out the cost and do the sums if he cut down by X amount, put it in a jar and spend on a different treat instead? If any appointments are coming up, the consultant could bring it up about not being ideal.

Good luck.