Is it better for a man or a woman


#1
I have PD and my husband does not.When I have to give up work, we will still have a good wage coming in so it will not be such a huge blow. It has made me wonder what life would have been like if it were the other way around.
I have a decent job but don't earn as much as my husband and it would have had a far greater impact on our lives if he was the one affected by PD.

My husband is a strong , independent character and would hate to feel weak and unable to provide for his family whereas I was at home for 16 years with my children anyway before returning to work so feel I will cope better.

What do you think?

Caroline.

#2
Caroline
fascinating question and one that I have pondered on. I am in the other position.
I have PD, my wife does not. we both have good jobs, but I earn more. My wife would rather give up work and if not for my PD she would have done already.

At 02:51 my brain is too addled to answer the Q properly....... to be continued

EF
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#3
I had to pack up my manual job at land Rover when i was 58, my wife still works and i feel absolulely useless, a complete waste of space, infact less of a man , my wife walks the dog and cuts the lawn, i do my best ,but on a bad day i cant even walk down to the corner shop, so id say its worse for a man if he"s the bread winner and still of working age,but in saying that i do really admire the PWP that are still mums ,how do you do it ??? I look after my grandchidren some days and it leaves me exhausted,. Whoever gets this dam thing it has a domino affect on all the family ,everyone affected ,PP,.

#4
An interesting question. I took early retirement from my job as a toolmaker at 62. However, I was fortunate to belong to a good final-salary pension scheme to which I had been making additional voluntary contributions. I also managed to get an enhanced, ill-health pension as well as using an independent financial advisor to sort out my savings and investments.

Important considerations for couples as the man is usually the main breadwinner.

#5
well I'm the wife and the main breadwinner and feel a lot of pressure to continue full time when it would be nice not to have to. I don't think gender's the issue it's about how you've run your household and what adjustments have to be made by each person. I reckon it's hard for both parties. We all feel we're letting each other down if we have to do less than before of some aspects of daily life. Probably these troubles come to everybody at some point ;just sooner with disability that starts before old age.
Just my thought at the end of a hard day!

#6
I am a carer for my father who has Parkinsons - I gave up work in march of this year(2011).
I accepted the fact I would have less and go out less.
I sometimes use my fathers money as it was agreed before hand,he has a good government pension/a good private pension(br) and receives the higher level of attendance allowance.
He sold his house when his wife died,the same year he was diagnosed(2002)
We both accepted the changes and I live with him.
I do not think gender has anything to do with it -It all comes down to cost/money - with more money/income you can do more things and afford better adaptations/treatments/care.
Being unwell costs money what-ever sex you are,the only difference in personal expetations,people must feel less of a person.
My father is always telling me to relax and sit down/take things easy/things can wait.
We have very candid discussions - He knows he can not walk or stand and I do all the shopping/cleaning/washing etc...
He tells me he feels guilty and wants to help all the time and it is hard for him,he is somewhat older-78.
So has done more for himself through-out his life!!!
This is just my personal thoughts and I hope it helps!!

#7
I was the main wage earner in our relationship and when I had to retire due to my PD it was terribly hard. My husband is 12 years younger than I am and he has returned to uni to retrain as a mental health nurse at 50 years of age. He's due to complete his training in February and its taken 3 years of hard slog for him, he's been the oldest student on his course by far and he has worked tirelessly to keep up with the work. He's working on his last assignment now and he has chosen to highlight the mental health issues that some people with PD face. We both believe that this is an area that is grossly overlooked within the treatment of PD.

I love him to bits and just know that he will make a fantastically empathic nurse.