Is Marriage over due to Parkinson’s

I’m really struggling. My husband has said our marriage is over. He says i choose to not be able to sleep through the night and i am compulsive.

I have asked him to research Parkinson’s to enable him to understand me but i feel he thinks i am using the illness as an excuse.

I was diagnosed at 35 in April 2012, things have progressed fast i had DBS in 2018.

He is refusing to understand me and says he loves me but its over and that he wont be moving out until he finds a nice house to go to. Moving out for me is not really an option - we live in a bungalow to ,make my life easier.

I really don’t know where t o turn.

Hi @Sa11val,

I’m so sorry to hear this, my heart truly goes out to you. Whilst there are people with Parkinson’s who are in loving and supportive relationships, however, there are some that face difficulties due to the lack of understanding about the condition and this can happen at any stage. For relationship support, I’d advise you to contact relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationships, you can can visit there website here: https://www.relate.org.uk/

We also have relationship advice and support via the Parkinson’s UK website which you may find helpful: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/being-relationship

Lastly, you are always welcome to speak to an adviser via our confidential helpline service to speak to someone in more detail about this.

Wishing you all the best and please don’t be a stranger to the forum, I’m sure the lovely community here will be happy to show you compassion and support during this very difficult time for you.

Best wishes,
Reah

Hello Sa11val

Sorry to hear about your problems. I have not had the difficulties you are facing, but I do know that some people are just not able to face/understand Parkinsons. My pain in the **** is my son’s mother in law. She hates to see me with the children. When they were babies and I was visiting my d.i.l would bring the new baby for me to hold, and moments later her mother would just walk up to me, talking over her shoulder to someone else, and take the baby from me. People are frightned of things they cannot understand. You are going through a lot of pain through no fault of your own, but if he can’t cope and cannot offer you love and support, then in the end you will be better off without him.

I am a carer for my husband who has Parkinsons. It is hard to be sympathetic all the time even though we have been married for over 50 years and I do love him. I read up on Parkinsons and joined the forum so I feel I know quite a lot about it. I have to say that I think that you would probably be better off without someone living with you who does not and is unwilling to try to understand what you are going through and to help take care of you. Some people are not able to deal with illness at all and will run away from it.
I hope things work out for you. Take care.

My mum left my dad 4 years ago, 8 years into Parkinson’s. I have no relationship with her now and put all my attention into my dad’s well-being, but the answer still simmers underneath. He still lives independently at 77, although challenging. All my love and best wishes

Firstly may I apologise for not responding to your supportive messages. It’s been a very tough 12 months which has certainly taken its toll on my health.

However, I realise I’m strong enough now to do this alone and I’m finally filing for divorce.

Thank you for all being so wonderful.

Xx

3 Likes

I’m so sorry for you but he doesn’t deserve you anyway he sounds like a total self centred A**e. Let him go you don’t need him around you who is not even prepared to understand. You look after yourself and your wellbeing.

1 Like