Now that I’m living on my own (husband died at start of month) got to think about dealing with things with no one around. The nearest friend lives 25 minutes drive away, I have no family, just me myself and I. What things can be done to deal with anything that comes up
Johan
Hi Johanmb,
We’re so sorry for your loss. We understand how hard this can be and we are here for you.
You can call our free, confidential helpline on 0808 800 0303 and speak to us so we can try to answer your questions and signpost you to places that may help you.
We’d also recommend speaking to your GP or Parkinson’s nurse about this. They know your specific situation and can offer you advice to help.
We hope this is useful. Please reach out if there is anything we can do.
Parkinson’s UK Moderation Team
Hello Johanmb
First of all, I was sorry to hear of the death of your husband. It must have been an extraordinarily difficult time and as your husband’s death was only a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if your emotions were all over the place, and there’s nothing wrong or unusual in that.
Having said that, it seems to me that you are doing ok and it is actually quite brave of you to post as you did so quickly recognising just how much your life has changed. It must be quite a daunting thing to take on board. There are however many people with Parkinson’s who live on their own and do so successfully and I count myself in that number. There is no reason to think that it will be any different for you with time. I can understand why you asked ‘what things can be done to deal with anything that comes up’ but would suggest it would be more useful to you not to try and second guess what may happen at the moment anyway, but instead concentrate on any issues that are troubling you now. There’s only so much you can do to plan ahead when the unknown future we all face hasn’t yet shown many of us how our conditions will ultimately affect us. The only certainty about living with Parkinson’s is that at some point deterioration will happen since there is at the moment no cure but that is really all we know. Parkinson’s in most people is fairly slow moving and there is time to adapt to anything that may come your way.
For what it’s worth I would say try not to get to deeply into looking at the very broad picture of what could/may happen (and equally may not) and instead alongside that, think about what is happening now and edeal with that. You don’t have to do it all now, you have some time. What may be of more use to you is to seek out some local support groups be they a Parkinson’s group, a keep fit class or maybe something like volunteering or something else - anything that will get you out and give you the opportunity to start to build some social connections; hopefully you won’t feel so alone and it may give a different perspective on your situation. I would stress this is only my view, based on the little you have said so there has been a bit of reading between the lines which may or may not be accurate and therefore, you may feel it is not a very helpful reply for whatever reason; if that’s the case that’s fine, You are fully entitled to your view, I can only write how it seems to me as honestly as I can and that is what I have tried to do here.
Take care and do come back to the forum as, when ans if you need. You are not alone when you have everyone on the forum willing to support you as you need.
Tot
Hi Johanmb,
I do understand how debilitating this can be, however, and I do know this is easy to say, you have to talk, shout, scream, to people.
Please understand that bottling things up causes even more grief.
Crying releases a lot of tension as well.
No one is going to judge you, and if they do, you simply do not want them in your life.
This site is here to help people like us, so please, please talk to the goup whenever and however you want.
I have no doubt that others have gone through what you have and are.