Just Another Day

I was walking back from the main shops yesterday and it was a struggle. To keep putting one foot in front of the other. To lift them off the ground. T o keep moving forward instead of staggering backwards. To lift my head up and open my eyes to see where I was going and not bump into anyone. I passed by a café and I heard at voice at my side asking if I was ok did I need any help.

I’m ok I saID. Slowly-slowly. Just very slow today.
People can be very kind but sometimes it’s kind of embarrassing and makes you feel bad. We passed the hairdresser where I sometimes get my fringe cut. Last time he cut my fringe and gave me a trim and wouldn’t even take any money from me.

The lady asked again was i ok then disappeared. Then further down the road she reappeared , coffee in hand “Here i am again”. She said I’don’t have anything to do I am free now. And again she offered to help.

She was from Mexico. Been here 10 yeaRS. I DIDN’T THINK SHE WAS going to follow me all the way to my house and mug me. English people are helpful too. Complete strangers.

When I first started freezing I got a wheelchair which I hardly sat in aS ,MY ARM WOULD GO BANANAS & SItTING IS TOO UNCOMFORTABLE. So I would push it along in front of me & only get in if I was too slow. People were always telling me to get in it and they would push. One day a guy in my street said – I’ll push you anywhere – what an offer!

I should really put my false teeth in more often – maybe that would make me look less demented.

I flew up to Scotland in the summer and didn’t put them in. Can you imagine if the alarm went off when you were going through security (they’ve got metal hinges and a metal plate). I was sitting minding my own business having breakfast and reading the Scotsman and a lady caME UP and offered help if I needed anything.

Anyway the Mexican lady is trying to make conversation. And my walking is actually getting worse as I have to try and explain about the difficulty of doing two things at once with Parkinson’s. Then she offers to carry some of my shopping. Ah I see. She thinks I am struggling to push the walker becauser of the shopping. No it’s the Parkinson’s making it hard to move.

Eventually I manage to reassure her as diplomatically as I can. And as I carry on by myself I get a little bit teary. At her kindness. And the frustration of a ‘bad walking day’. I walked instead of riding my trike because I had to pick some blinds I’d ordered in person & I thought they would be too big to manage on the trike. People do not feel sorry for me on the trike.

Especially when I am “gravity-riding” at full speed down the hill in my local park – they are cheering me on!

Perhaps it was because I was a bit preoccupied. I had spent the morning looking again at an “expert witness “ report from over 10 years ago denying I had any drug-induced movement disorder. I lost my legal aid.
Then I did a formal complaint after my local hospital discontinued me. Then they admitted I had drug-induced movement disorders and that I fulfilled the criteria for parkinson’s but still denied I had parkinson’s …
I remember once at another hospital I was standing behind a young doctor who was boasting to the receptionist about all the ways he had to get rid of patients he didn’t want to see…

Perhaps I was wondering if it was worth going to see my gp. The hospital discontinued me again. And I’ve never even met the consultant who puts his name on my reports. Is that a record?

The last time I was up at the surgery one of the gps apologised for the way the hospital was treating me. But they don’t know the half of it. How are you supposed to say all that in 10 minutes…

So, next time I’m going to the shops I’ll go very fast on my trike and I’ll stop and have a coffee where the Mexican lady works to say hi

Hello Appletree. Sorry to hear about your difficulties at the hospital. Glad that you can spend time with the Mexican lady. I hope things work out better for you. Best wishes