Most days, even though I’m fairly new to this i endeavour to rise above it. But today i suppose after having multiple bad nights and another off day i took a look at and felt the tremoring and the pain in the arthritic areas. Fighting the anxiety.
Family stuff and financial stuff, work and fighting to return…who would have thought that !.. not ashamed to say that i shed a few tears, you always feel a bit better i suppose.
Although family care to a point, they dont really know. People who you thought you could rely on cant even be arsed calling, you become a topic of conversation that quite rapidly becomes yesterdays news and someone elses problem.
You begin to feel like a shadow, a momentary interest to a passing stranger who is intrigued by your shuffling or notice your tremors at the checkout.
Then a good friend drops a note and the sun shines. You notice a thing of beauty,something of which when you were fit and healthy would have been insignificant. And all is ok…for a bit.
Rant over