Mother has had a stroke due to high blood pressure caring for my father with advanced Parkinsons. Help please.

Hi there.
This is my first post. I’m at my wits end. I’ve had to drive up to Nottingham from Reading to look after my father (aged 86) who is suffering from advanced Parkinson’s.
This is following my mother (aged 83) being taken to hospital Sunday overnight - it’s emerged she has suffered a stroke driven by high blood pressure.
She called me 7am Friday after a very bad week, and I drove up for the weekend. Things seemed to have calmed down, and I drove back down south Sunday night. But then my father called my 5am to say she was in hospital. He can’t look after himself so I’ve come up.
I know it’s been brought on by caring for him getting too much. I don’t want to risk losing her, and I don’t want her to come back to this environment but I don’t know what to do.
The biggest problem is my Dad’s dizziness - it’s become particularly bad last two weeks. 6 weeks ago I went on holiday with them as a chaperone and everything was fine. Today I’ve had to hold him up after simply a few paces, and he can’t make it to the top of the stairs without moving onto all fours because he is so dizzy. He has been in a daze today - and quite incoherent. Just 24 hours with him and I’m so tense - so I now know what my mother has been going through.
He is on Midodrine 5mg (3 times per day).
I simply don’t know what to do, I’m so stressed.
I can’t bear thinking how this plays out. Anyone with similar experience with their parents.
Also any suggestions re the dizziness.

Thank you. Any help support would be greatly appreciated.


So sorry to read your message and how difficult your situation has become.
I also have PD but I work in social care; on a practical note, I would suggest you speak with the ward sister and ask for your Mum to have a social care assessment prior for discharge and at the same time contact your parents local council for your Father to have his own assessment…… of course this would need to be done with both their consents, also find out what carers support services are available either in your own area or where your partner live? For you to navigate the system
Good luck
Little nanny

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Thank you Littlenanny.
Ironically, I called the helpline who were very helpful and said the same thing.
I’m going to speak to my father’s GP tomorrow as well. the Ward sister suggested this and the possibility of respite care when my mother comes out of hospital to allow her to progress her recovery.

And i was going to say exactly the same thing as Littlenanny and the helpline.
I hope you will feel more positive once there are people involved who can help you navigate the system and get you all the support you need.
When you have time let us know how you are getting on and the forum is always here for you and do what we can to help.
Don’t forget to look after yourself too,

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Sorry to hear you are going through this. I have parents of a similar age. Mum is 81 and dad is 83. Mum has late stage Parkinsons. It’s challenging to navigate so I understand what you are going through and know how you feel.

My parents now have carers who go in several times a day at home. It is funded through CHC.It would be impossible to my dad to cope without them coming in as my mum is frail and has lots of complications now. The first port of call is the Parkinsons Nurse who can help to set up a care assessment and try to get the right care package in place. In your situation, I imagine you will probably be able to get emergency carers for a couple of weeks (we had this ourselves when things were really bad last October). From there, an ongoing care package could be set up.

My parents live in a different location to myself and my children so I understand the stress/ pressure you are all under. The people on this forum are extremely knowledgeable and have helped me through terrible times in the past. I hope you get some of the support that it sounds as though you need.

Hi Ian3 welcome to the forum I to am same as your father but I find its more like being on board a ship in a 9 force gale. or its like being very drunk. When I found out that I had PD we sold our house and moved into a bungalow. it belongs to a housing assosation. The thing is its independent living, we have a manger who calls once or twice a week, we have a pull cord for emergineries gardens are looked after and windows cleaned. When I did not have PD my father passed away and i did get mum a warden aoded flat via council. I know its a big thing for mum and dad to move with the age they are but it worth thinking about it . Go and just talk to the local council I am sure they will be please to help. You said your farther was dizzy going up the strairs this is one of the resonings we also moved and my mum to have no stairs.