My First Post


#1
Good morning, folks. I'm in my late 40s and have joined this forum as my father (79) was diagnosed with PD about 4 or 5 years ago. He has been muddling along quite well until quite recently. His condition has deteriorated suddenly, we think partly due to the death of his cousin last weekend. They were more like brother and sister and her death has undoubtedly upset him dreadfully.

My mother is still living (she's 76 today) but has her own health problems, which are making her less and less able to cope with the demands associated with my Dad's PD.

I am married with no children and my husband and I both work full time. I try to make time to visit my parents during my lunch hour as often as possible, but find it difficult to balance my responsibilities at work and home with the endless phone calls from my mother, usually in tears, telling me what Dad has done now.

My sister is a schoolteacher with 2 teenagers. She has just divorced and she and my niece and nephew are currently living with her boyfriend and his 3 children. This is causing my parents a great deal of worry, as they have disliked the boyfriend since they first met him. My sister calls with my parents every weekday morning on her way to school.

My reason for joining this forum is to get ideas as to what we can do to help both my parents - we're thinking it might be time to arrange for carers to call to help Dad with dressing, for example, but worry that strangers coming into his home will make him more confused - but also to get support for myself and my sister, as we are becoming really stressed at how little we can do to help.

Thank you for taking the time to read this far!! I should point out that we really don't want Dad to have to go into a home until he absolutely has to. I'm prepared to reduce my hours in work, if necessary, but this would also put a strain on my own relationship - despite having no children, we're not in particularly well paid employment.

I look forward to sharing experiences and learning all I can about this horrible disease.

#2
hiya im ali ive been dx for 11 half years,im 43 years old.welcome to puk forum,there good surport and nice friends to meet:smile:i think it is time for carers to be looking after your dad,and even helping your mom out to.i have a care agency me self,and i have the same person ,unless she is ill,or on holiday,you can request this option,and it depends on the care agency as well.some dont ,they have three or four coming in to you,just like they did with me mom,she dint like it,got confussed and stuff,she now has one like me,i like it this way cus of personal things being done,you get to trust the carer and not feel so embarrssed.if you think this is a good idea for your dad,wot you need to do is speak with his gp,you need a social worker,and you will then have ocupational health come out to him and asses him for wot equipent around the home they think would help him.the social worker will set up a care agency for you,who will come out and see him and his wife and your self,and if you think all of this would help him,i would go for it.im only 43 like ive said,but ive got other helath issues as well as pd for 11 years.its been the best thing ive done.the social worker sets up social time as well,which means the carer takes you out for 2 or three hours,were ever you like to go,shopping,etc.it would take alot off you,bit more peace of mind.nowing there in good hands :smile:there is very good surport on the puk helpline also,who can advice you,hope this helps.:smile:

#3
Thanks Ali J. We hope to get things started once my sister finishes teaching at the end of next week. It's quite hard to accept that it's time to ask for help but I know in my heart we have to do something, or both of my parents will end up really ill. The information you have provided regarding carers has helped immensely. Thank you for that and all the best in your own battle.

#4
Hello Celia 190,

Welcome to the forum, as Alij has already mentioned there is a lot of help around, it is just finding you way around the maze. Alij has told you about the social services there is also the PD suport worker and an organisation called Crossroads which is for carer's and they provide various services and some very useful information on any numbers of subjects affecting carer's. Your Mum is entitled to an assessment of her own needs so it is worth asking about that.
I wish you all the best
vivian

#5
Hi Celia190

Welcome to the forum I see you have already had great advise from Ali J who is always full of encouragement and support as is Vivian. Hopefully see you around the forum :smile: