Hi im Danny,
my Mum has been fighting Parkinsons for 10 years or so. She is at end stage now and suffering badly unable to eat or drink kr communicate clearly and on a drip.
My Dad and Sister and myself and family are by her side in turns everyday.
My Dad and Sister seem to be starting to grieve but im not. People have said that im handling it really well but they dont know that im avoiding thinking about it. When im with Mum im numb and hold her hand while she sleeps or try to talk while awake.
Im starting to have overwhelming feelings of dread and terror is the only way i can describe it.
The end is near as they will remove her drip tomorrow. I fear a brrakdown if I dont speak with somebody.
I’ve had a very close relationship with my Mum over the years. Taking her out every week for a coffee and toast and shopping every Friday.
She used to drive me to footy and watch me play every week when i was a youngster and has always been there whatever the situation.
She doesnt deserve this and its heartbreaking.
I have a wife and two girls and am clinging on to them for dear life. Although they dont know my true feelings the girls are too young.
I fear if i start to cry I may never stop