Hi Tilley,
I was diagnosed earlier this year. PD was masked for 8 years by other problems. When I finally went on medication I did the same as your partner. I found socialising difficult. Also like your partner, prior to this I was very out going. Pubs, dances, walking, swimming, you name it I was up for it.
It was therefor very hard to understand why all of a sudden I shied away from it all.
This is how I am fighting back.
I started by going out at quiet times into pubs with just my wife. I didn't drink a lot, just a couple of pints then home. I then had a meal or two out, again at quiet times.
We used the gently, gently, catchy monkey, routine. In real terms what we are doing is re-building my life block by block.
Yesterday I was in town. I saw my PD nurse. She is the biggest boost I get. She is brilliant. The lady is working on my meds for me as well as counselling me.
There are numerous people you can talk to on the phone, on here and socially.
This is one reason I feel strange. I got on the train yesterday and only one seat was available. Normally I would have let my wife sit down. I couldn't because I can't stand for long periods of time. As I sat at a table for four I quite clearly stated 'excuse me for appearing rude, but I have PD and need to sit'. Immediately a young man stood up and let my wife sit down. It is not all people who don't understand.
Later in the day we went to a pub. I don't know anyone from this pub. I sat down and my wife got the drinks. I still pay.....I have that privilege. Four lads near us put some music on. My wife liked it. I asked her for £3.
I then asked the lads if they would do me a favour and put more of the same on. I remained seated but the lads at the bar started to have the crack with us. I enjoyed the day so much I couldn't believe it.
It's not easy. We were once big strong independent men. I now feel like I have a neon sign on my head saying 'I'm f**ked'.
I am slowly learning the majority of people, as long as I am polite, will treat me with respect. Things have changed, so I must change.
Make no mistake it is bl**dy hard. I will not undersell the problem. My wife fights for me like i have never seen her fight before. She says why not, you did so for me, long enough.
So may I say your role is very important in your partners life. Building back shattered confidence is not something to do alone.
I read a post from Jim on here. It was inspirational. He is no wimp, but what he had to do, and went through, took more courage than all his rough neck days.
All I can say is good luck. I hope your partner can find his own inspiration. Remember how important your role in this will be. You will also need the patience of a saint. My wife has this quality thank goodness and stuck to her task. It is now paying dividends.
