I don’t know if this will be of interest to anyone let alone be helpful and of course, as always, you are at liberty to disagree, but thought I would share it with you and just see what happens. I would stress this is purely my own view, my way of living with Parkinson’s. It won’t be everyone’s way but it works for me and having been tested more than I could have imagined this past year or so, I believe it more than ever.
If any of you have ever caught up with some of my forum posts it won’t take you long to realise that for me one of the strongest tools I have at my disposal is to do my best to stay positive. Copied below is a post I wrote in June at the end of several posts on living alone with PD and will set the scene for what has happened during the last 13 months up to June.
Actually Jackson things are more ok than they have been in a year. The last six months of 2019 saw me with two separate 2 week hospital admissions, one three week period of rehab, one emergency surgery and the time in between just getting my energy back. Felt good going into the new year, then one week in my flat was flooded by my neighbour’s washing machine, I had to move out first to a hotel for several days then a rented flat on a 6 month lease. Had been here a month when the lockdown started and all works stopped except the driers drying out my flat which took 3 weeks. A couple of weeks ago work restarted and just heard yesterday that work will be completed by end of 2nd week in July and will be moving back to my own flat towards the end of the month. Never known a period like it but survived still standing and hoping the rest of 2020 has no more dramas in store. So I can honestly say at the moment life is good, I am well and have survived all that’s been thrown at me more or less in one piece. See what I mean Jackson no point worrying about the future you never know where it might take you!!
Had I but known what was in store you might argue I was tempting fate. I moved back to my flat as planned at the end of July not to the minor snagging and cleaning that might have been expected but to something of a disaster zone. It was as if the contractors had suddenly gone mad - the pump had not been fitted on my shower, the wc was left in a disgusting state with broken flush, my three storage heaters were badly scratched not hung straight and one had both control knobs missing. There were a number of smaller issues too. If that wasn’t enough my phone and Internet service meant to go live the following day didnt - the phone, line was later found to be broken. As I write I still have no landline or Internet, I am awaiting installation of new storage heaters and a few other unresolved matters. All works should be completed by mid September.
I don’t write any of this in order to elicit sympathy, pity etc rather it is to say that I have quite amazed myself at my ability to be finally nearing the end and still be in one piece. It has not been an easy. There have been times when I’ve truly wondered how much more I could take and I will be forever grateful, to family and friends for keeping me going albeit at a distance. The down times never lasted long and the only logical explanation for that as far as I am concerned is this streak of positivity that I seem to be able to maintain come what may.
Although it has in many ways been a nightmare, it has shown me that I am stronger, more resourceful and can cope with more than I realised. I don’t know if my ability to be positive is innate, learned, second nature because of my varied working experiences or luck. It doesn’t really, matter I am just glad I have it. If it can keep me going as it mostly has through all this, it gives me renewed strength to face an uncertain future.
Maybe it is worth exploring what keeps you going, it may throw up some surprises or perhaps some ideas on how you could do things differently by changing your perception of where 'you’re at. ’ Don’t you owe it to yourself to seek out a real chance of living with Parkinson’s and not just existing or wishing it was otherwise as so many seem to do. I wish you luck with whatever road suits you. For me, I think I will stick with trying to remain positive and hope md resolve won’t be tested quite so hard for some time - maybe I should consider hibernating for the winter!