My Son wants Suicide in the future


#1
My 48year old son was diagnosed 6 years ago and sadly has progressed fast through stages. His partner left him because she could not cope. He is over that but lives alone 2 miles from me in the country without neighbours. He works 4 days a week from home now but has SO much time off.
I am nearly 70 years and alone too. We have no family nearby.One brother in Australia, his sister 400 miles away.I have osteoarthritis, shoulders and neck and knees.
In January he told me that when he gets worse he wants to go down the suicide route. We have looked up Dignitas.
I saw him into this world and will see him out of it if necessary, but it is breaking my heart.
I knew he would want this. He is not religious and very logical.
Last week was very bad for him. He fell onto his bed sideways and just managed to phone me, early in the morning. I went over and got him up, but hurt my neck doing it, which he does not know. I then had to get him into a bath, phone his boss, strip and redo his bed, get him out, dried and dressed, put the pills in his mouth, help him drink, make his breakfast and clean a very dirty toilet that he could not avoid soiling. Then I did what I always do when very stressed...I cleaned his house !Later, stuggled to clean mine a bit!
That day he was in such pain down one side and could not move his legs or body easily. His hands, for the first time were curled in like claws. He could not straighten his fingers or hold anything.
It scared the hell out of me !!! If he cannot use his hands you know all the things he won't be able to do !! and that includes work as he is a computer support manager.
After 3 days of going to him 3 times daily, I had to say I could not come on the 4th day as I was in so much pain myself, and exhausted. He assured me he could manage that day, but later told me it had taken him an hour to get dressed !
I feel the future is rushing towards us and I don't know what to do.On a practical level I am organising a cleaner for him which his sister will pay for.
The thought of his suicide getting closer !!! So afraid.
Any thoughts/ advise ?

#2
Dear Tia Maria. My husband has PD but I cannot offer any advice except to phone our helpline and to keep in touch with the forum. I think you and your son need so much help and I hope you find it on here. Best wishes to you both. flo

#3
Dear Tia Maria,

I'm sorry to hear that things are not easy. I fully agree with flo that the helpline may be good. I would also encourage your son to join this forum. There’s lot of us here with first hand experience on how to make the best of any available medication and a few other trics to try to handle things a little better. If your son tells us what medications he’s taking and what he’s struggling with, maybe we may be able to come up with a suggestion or two that might be of a little help to him. It may not work, but at least it doesn’t hurt to try.

He may also be able to help the rest of us. I’m 47 and have been diagnosed 2 years ago. I (and plenty of others like me) would welcome his advice on what has worked for him and what things have worked less well. Also, you say he’s quite logical and has a computer background. I’m sure he could help us in our many discussions we have on what works (or doesn't) and thus help us zoom-in on those elusive things that might be of help for many of us. I’m sure he’ll be able to contribute in many ways.

All the best to both of you,

lfs

#4
I have Parkinsons, but how I feel for you, as I have sons and know how I would feel in your place, I wonder what his Neurologist has diagnosed, and does he have access to a Parkinsons nurse to discuss medication? One thing I have been doing recently is Conductive Education. Some people in the class have been going for years. This was developed in Hungary at the Peto Institute, its a kind of exercise that stretches every part of your body, to help flexibility I am 62, lots of people are much older. I do hope you can get some advice and he can be given more support.

#5
Hi Valerie,

I am very interested in conductive education. Where can you access it. I live in Northamptonshire.

#6
HI EP the class I go to is organised through my local Parkinsons group in Bristol. I would highly recommend it, I will get a contact number for you tomorrow. Best wishes

#7
Thanks Everyone.
I would like to reply properly but it will have to wait until I feel less depressed. I went to my GP this morning and told him what I have told you. He is normally very good, but was clearly very distracted today and seemed to have trouble concentrating and was only half listening. Not good. A wasted visit.
I am too tired to think just now. sorry.

#8
Hi Ep, this is the website for conductive education http://www.conductive-education.org.uk/useful_links/. Do you go to a local Branch of Parkinsons? The class I go to is organised through that? best wishes

#9
Hi Valerie,

Thanks for taking the trouble to post the web address.