My husband, aged 54, was diagnosed in November, but I'm only just finding out about what this means for us as a couple. I am very concerned about him getting dementia and the huge impact this would have on our lives. I know that we should be positive; I know that the disease is very varied and we can't predict anything for sure; and I know that if it did happen I would find a way to deal with it, but the truth is I am really terrified.
My husband has a fabulous optimism and has got through all of life's challenges by just being totally positive. I am usually very positive too, but for the first time I feel like I really can't match his optimism. He wants to just get on with life and not think about it; I really need time to adjust and deal with something that feels huge. For the first time I feel like we aren't dealing with something together as we see this very differently and also we would be in such different situations if his brain really deteriorates. I feel very isolated at the thought that I might end up being his carer and neither of us would have a life. We are both such strong, independent people and I find it immensely difficult (much as I really love being with him) to imagine myself as someone who spends all day looking after him, particularly if he is very changed.
I knew he had Parkinson's back in November and I wasn't really shaken up about it until I found out about the dementia recently. I thought I could handle it and I think I probably can handle most of it, it's just the dementia that really frightens me.
I expect that in the future I will be someone who writes encouraging things on this forum trying to help people feel better, but right now I feel scared, miserable and alone and I'd just like to hear that someone out there understands.
Thanks very much,
Mel (who is usually a much cheerier person than this!)