Need support for myself (Selfish)

Hi there,

As the title suggests I need some kind of suport or outlet for myself.
I do not have parkinsons but my dad does. From my brief reading on it, it seems he’s in stage 4 (out of 5).

I have moved back with my parents recently to support my mum a bit in terms of practical help (i can help with shopping, cleaning) while she helps with my dads personal care.

A couple of times now when she’s popped out, my dad has soiled himself. I’m struggling to cope and am feeling resentful. This is only going to become more frequent/worse.

My older sister helps my dad with his medical side of things (both parents english isn’t good). But moving back in and seeing it its just difficult.

Anyway, now matter how hard I’m finding it I’m trying to remind myself it’s worse for the person with PD (my dad).

Sorry, I just needed to unload.

Hello @Sal and a warm welcome to the forum community.

Please don’t feel like you are being selfish in needing some support for yourself or apologise for needing to offload. That is what we are here for.

I am sure many of our members will identify with the feelings you are describing and will hopefully be along soon to say hello and share their experiences.

We have some information on our website for family members and carers which explores some of the common issues and difficulties you may be experiencing. You can find this at:

I hope you find it helpful.

If you need some more direct support you can contact our helpline. Our friendly advisers can provide information and support on all aspects of living with Parkinson’s or supporting and caring for those who do.

Our helpline is open 9am-7pm Monday to Friday and 10am-2pm on Saturday (closed Sundays and Bank Holidays)

You can reach us on 0808 800 0303 or [email protected]

I hope that helps a little, please do feel free to continue using the forum as a source of information and support.

Take care

Forum moderation team

Hello Sal and feel free to unload here on the forum it is a safe non judgemental place to do just that if that’s what you need to do. I would like to make one comment on something you wrote, and i speak as a Parkie. Of course it is true nobody wants to be part of this club. It can be difficult, challenging, always has something waiting in the wings to throw a spanner in the works. It can also be funny, unexpectedly amazing and life enhancing (most Parkie’s are very tuned in to what their body is doing and how they react) and take delight in the small victories over our uninvited guest. To that extent it’s worse for the person with Parkinson’s. However we don’t have a choice. The condition will be what it will be and most of us do what we can to have a good quality of life with the ever present Parkinson’s in tow. Personally i think it harder to be family, friend or whoever having to watch our antics from the sidelines. It is hard to watch someone you care about struggle, knowing there is nothing you can do that will stem the tide, trying to keep up with the changes and 101 other things that go with it. Not everyone can do it and you have decided to give it a go, for which you have my greatest respect. You will probably find as you go along that you will develop systems that help but having to do a job like clean up your dad does take some getting used too, its not the natural order of things. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing the best you can, that’s all you can do and if you need to let off steam the forum is open 24/7. Best wishes to you.

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