Your first dozen words describes me, so we are pd twins!! However, I found not knowing harder to accept, with everyone saying it will be stress, you’re redundant that’s all, get a job you will be fine.
With help I did get a job, actually a better one, but my foe is always picking fights, most of which I currently win or at least a score draw.
Positivity helps, as does faith in whatever you wish to hold as your baseline.
Cattle die and kinsmen die,
thyself too soon must die,
but one thing never, I ween, will die, –
fair fame of one who has earned.
That is what I strive towards, reputation of one who never gave up