Please do not even begin to think you are pathetic - you are not. You are coping with something totally unexpected and not planned for in your retirement years. And yes, your life has of necessity changed.
I have only recently received my diagnosis so am in the process of changing my life. My biggest change being unable to drive has taken away my independence. It has also taken away the ability to continue to take out others disabled by various medical problems. But many of my thoughts that had become negative I am now turning to positives.
I agree with the suggestion that you investigate the possibility of someone to sit with your husband during his daytime sleeping hours but be careful that this does not leave you with a feeling of loss as to what to do with yourself so I would suggest you start my finding an interest you would like to start/continue with. The library is often a good starting place with events like ‘knit and natter’. The knitting could continue at home. Or a book club where you all read the same and discuss it’s merits - again would continue at home. Gentle exercise class but fun, not silent.Do you use computer or mobile phone? I play scrabble with my cousin on our mobiles.
Having sorted some interests you would then know how much help you would need from a ‘sitter’ and what hours.
Hoping this is of some help to spur you on to bigger and better things you never thought would happen.
Thinking of you - Linda