New to The Forum

First of all I would just like to say hello everyone, I have just joined the forum in hope to find others who can support and understand the way I feel. 

My story involves my beloved grandfather who turned eighty years old back in February. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease three years ago, however he has got progressively worse since his diagnosis. He has a variety of symptoms such as arm tremors, hallucinations from medication etc... and in January earlier this year he was also diagnosed with Parkinson's Dementia. cry

Until quite recently he was having a range of good days and bad days but now they are mostly bad days. I find myself feeling quite upset and really angry. I sat down and figured the reason for this is because I can't quite come to terms with everything that is going on. Obviously I understand what happens to him but what is frustrating me is I am unsure how to behave around him.

I absolutely hate it, but I find myself feeling awkward at times as I am so unsure and not very confident on how to respond when his symptoms happen in my presence. It has been hard for all of the family but I feel my mother, my auntie and my brother are better than me at conversing with him when he feels unwell, as I am finding it even harder to cope and get my head around it all. I am so frustrated and upset.  I went to see him today and I came home and just broke down.

I need to find a way to let go of the anger I feel, and coming to terms with his declining condition but I'm not sure how. 

Sorry to ramble...

starlight93 x

Hello Starlight

Welcome to the forum  , you are in the right place many people on the forum will understand how you feel and be able to offer support

It is understandable that you find it hard to come to terms with your grandfathers declining health . i can only speak from my own experience , i  was 47 yrs old when i was diagnosed last year with parkinsons   which came has quite a shock to me  although i had parkinsons in the back of my mind it was still a shock hearing the neurologist confirm my fears , then a few weeks later my 76 year old mother was also diagnosed with parkinsons it took me a long time to come to terms with the diagnosis not only for myself but also for my mother the hardest part for me was telling my children that there mother and grandmother  both had the condition i still have so many fears mainly for my children  as parkinsons is not usually inhereited but it can be in a small number of cases my  neuro asked me to talk to my children about genetic testing  which they are keen to have .... i had some many fears and worries for mine  and my childrens future but it was something my son said one day that  helped me he said ' mom don't worry about what will happen in years to come its in the future  we cant change it so we will  do what we always do and deal with it then ' i know it is a different situation and it is your grandfather that is ill but there are people on the parkinsons uk helpline that you could talk to about how you are feeling  and also your grandfathers parkinson nurse if he has one,i just wanted to say there are many people who will understand how you are feeling

Best wishes  xx