Newby


#1

Hello

I joined this group as it seems my Husband may have PD.  He is 65 & recently retired.  He is quite active. I am due to retire end of this year.  We have recently re-homed a rescue dog, who we are enjoying!


#2

Welcome to the forum!  You'll find lots of info here from people of varied experience with PD. 

If your husband does have PD, I see three things in his favour right away.  One, he is active.  We can hardly overstate the benefits of exercise and continued activity for pwp.  Two, he is retired.  This gives him time for sleep, exercise, and pursuing interests that make him happy.  Three, you have a new dog.  A dog keeps our spirits up, helping to defend against depression (if that is a problem). 

Coincidentally, my case of PD began one year after I retired.  That was 17 years ago, and I'm still in the first stage of the disease.  Some cases move very slowly; I wish your husband such luck!

J

 


#3

thank you J. Pd  certainty seems very varied and good to know this.    I am glad I found this forum, its good to be able to discuss things on here.  Hubby doesn't want the family to know it may be PD but it wont be long before some will want to know what is wrong possibly.  I am glad your PD is slow for you, look after yourself

 

Tiny


#4

Hi, Tiny --

I understand your husband's reluctance to tell the family about the PD possibility.  When I was diagnosed, my son's wedding was only one month away.  I kept quiet until after their honeymoon.  Most PD patients need time, I think, to adjust to the diagnosis themselves before they are ready to share it with others.  If your husband does get a PD diagnosis, he can take his time before telling anyone.  I took a few months (if I remember correctly) and then began sharing the bad news with friends.  Prior to that, I just didn't feel ready for their sympathetic reactions.

Best regards,

J


#5

 

     Hello Tiny

                        Wellcome,I do understand your husbands thinking, obviously family and friends will notice changes and will begin asking questions but he will find his own level, in my case I told everyone immediately and was stunned at the response , there wasnt one,I think this is because the average person simply cannot understand how cruel this vicious disease can be,most have not the first  idea of the pain and discomfort it can inflict. hence very little reaction, sad but true.

                                            Kindest Regards                       Fed


#6

Fed, I still recall my favourite reaction from a friend:  a sympathetic "awww" followed by "What's that?"

J


#7

             Hello J .

                             Thats precisely  the reaction most people have when informed their Husband or wife  havr PD, in my case Ireally need my family now, I have two lovely daughters  who went months before a teluctant phone call from me to my eldest seemed to work, but no , my yongest who is 40 this year is training to be a nurse and I think she must have compassio fatique as I have very little contact,  Ihave no strength and can only do minor tasks so I really do need them to call and see if we are ok but somehow they seem to view me differently, I  have not seen my grandchildren for so long  they do call they soon want to be  off,  they dont know me anymore, Luckily we hve a  local council who  operate a repair scheme and will call ,sometimes at a minutes notice they will repair or fix or assemble all for one £10 payment I find it all very sad  having to relyon strangers to carry out simple repairs or do abit of shopping, my lovely wife had a bad fall 2 months ago and is in pain so a thoughtful response would be very wellcome.

                                                How are things with you J I  always look forward to your posts as they always offer pearls of wisdom

                                             Have a gentle  happy day J    your friend FED

s


#8

Good morning, Fed!

It's morning for me, anyway.  I always check my email during breakfast, then move on to the forum.  Today I am under pressure to produce at least one "pearl of wisdom."  I doubt it will be forthcoming, but I'll just write.

Yes, the worst thing about a disability of any sort, I think, is the way friends and relatives start looking at you differently or avoiding your presence.  Even in the early stages of PD, I can notice uncomfortable behaviour in some people.  Others show their concern too much and constantly try to do things for me or offer assistance just because they know I have PD.  If they would only wait, they'd see I'm not in need of aid yet.

My only child is my son, who lives about four hours away by car.  He gets here with his wife and two kids (ages seven and three at present) about every other month, but I know he'd be here immediately if I called and said I needed him.  To be honest, when the whole family stays three or four days, I'm ready for solitude and silence again!  I love the grandchildren dearly; they just require more energy than I can muster for many consecutive days.  The older they get, however, the better the visits are for me.

I may have mentioned in another post that because I know my travel years will be limited, I am over-compensating by going on a lot of trips while I can.  Next week I'm making a short journey to California for my high school class's 50th reunion.  In September I'm taking a tour of the eastern maritime provinces of Canada (Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia).  In December my sister and I are going to Walt Disney World to behave like children and go on all the wild rides.  And next spring I'll go overseas again, to Belgium and the Netherlands on a riverboat cruise, then to Oxfordshire for a one-week tour of gardens in that area.  If I survive all those trips, I may plan others.  But travel is hard work; I have always found it tiring, even before the TSA started requiring that we perform stunts like simultaneously removing our shoes and putting all our carried possessions in bins and pushing all of them along till they reach a conveyor belt.  I feel as if I'm taking juggling lessons -- and not doing very well at it, either.

I wish you a good, gentle day as well.  Mine will begin (in half an hour) with a walk with neighbourhood friends and my dog.  The sky is overcast; I'm hoping it will be a dry walk.  Later I'll continue some research I have begun on the writings of one of my former university professors.  A quiet day, I expect.

Sorry -- absolutely no pearls today --                                                                                                      

J


#9

Hi J

My Son & his partner know something is up because we went on holiday with them & they noticed Hubby slowness.  He has a date for hospital 8th October, seems ages away but I know it will come quickly.  I think hes quite glad its a way off, I suppose because he can forget for now.

I can understand your reluctance to share the news, as you don't know how people will react.

I personally would like to know & then at least we know what we are facing and can possibly plan to some extent

 

Thanks 

 

Tiny


#10

Hi again, Tiny!

If your husband's symptoms are noticeable, the question of whether to confide in family or friends may not arise.  Others may be asking first, relieving your husband of the decision-making.  Without a diagnosis yet, there isn't much to say, but maybe it's a good way to help everyone prepare for a diagnosis in October.

Meanwhile, I hope your husband won't worry too much -- nor you!

J