I don't know if this is in the right section but here goes. My husband has been diagnosed since May 2007. I have seen this lovely man deteriorate before my eyes.
We made the decision jointly to move from our 4 bedroom house, that has been our family home for 37 years, to move into a bungalow. This decision was made because of being able to manage stairs later on. My husband also has dementia which, for me personally is the worst part.
We are due to exchange contracts on the move today and at 6.30am he came in to me crying and said that he doesn't want to move.
This happened 2 weeks ago, for another reason and I think that he is waking up from a panic attack/nightmare.
Has anyone else experienced this.
Hello Yorkie, I can relate to your hubby's nightmares, but I would go one further and call them night terrors, I have them very regularly. I wake in the night screaming and thrashing around, often hurting my poor hubby in the process. I have mentioned them to my pd nurse and neuro and they have told me it's the meds, however, I need the meds so put up with the dreams.
As for his not wanting to move house, moving is a very emotional thing, particularly if we have lived in our home for a long time and have had many happy years there.
My guess is that your hubby is worried about both of your futures right now, what he probably see's is that his health is not good and nobody can say how he will affected by his pd ect in a few years, it's all very unnerving and I can see how this must be affecting his confidence. I'm sure that the move will be a positive one for both of you, it certainly seems to be a sensible, forward thinking action which can only benefit you both in terms of caring for your hubby in the future.
I hope this might have given you something to think about and I wish you both luck with the move and happiness in your new home.
Thanks for your reply.
My husband has been bad a night for years now. So much so that he now sleeps in another to save me from injury (a punch on the nose being the last thing).
I think that the stress of the move is getting to him. I have been trying so hard to keep him stress free as he gets so confused with everything from what tablets he takes day in and day out to the time of day.
I do think he could be a bit depressed as well.
He done something like this the week before last. He came to my bedroom door crying and telling me that I needed to get help for him. I asked him if he was in any pain but he said no but I needed to get help and he was scared. His tremor was uncontrollable. Me and our children put it down to a panic attack then and I can't help thinking that the same has happened early hours of this morning i.e a bad dream, or as you say a night terror and this makes him wake up in a terrible state.
Thank you once again.
Are you getting any support from the mental health dept as there are many pwp's with dementia who belong to groups that have a good support network. If you are not in touch with someone from MH ask to be referred and ask what is available to help you both.
Most pwp's without dementia don't like change once they have had it a few years but with dementia it is so much worse and someone from MH should be able to help you with the changes. I have to say that members of the branch I used to run were full of praise at the support they got.
Does your husband have a Community Psychiatric Nurse assigned to him? It would be worth approaching either the CPN, Consultant or your GP to see if there is any medication he could be given which might address his stress.
I'm sure you are right that he is worse because of the stress of the move, but also I think you are making the right decision for the future. However it is tough going in the short term, and it may be that there is something that could be done to help him.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
Thanks to you all for your replies. It nice to talk to people who know what you mean.
My husband hasn't been to bad this last week as I have been trying to keep him as stress free as possible.
He has an appointment with his neurologist in February by which time this move should be over and done with.
I will be keeping an eye on him in the meantime.
Thank you again and Merry Christmas to you all x
Reading your post made me very sad , sad for you having to watch your loved one
suffer and very very sad for your husband for whom suffering the added cruelty of Dementia will have the trauma that these night terrors produce very hard to
forget, if you add moving to a new home which is very stressful and sad , it will
not be easy, if you can have as many family as possible around when settling in to your new home , this will provide the reassurance that your husband needs at this time. As for the Night Terrors which is a true assessment ,try using a subdued bedside lamp and or his favourite gentle music played very softly it may
help him sleep safe from the worst dreams. I cant offer anything more than these methods work for me. I even hunted out a soft fleece blanket , which I used to
cuddle as a child it soothes , and it may work for your husband
Best Wishes fedex
I was diagnosed 8 yrs ago and after about 5 years, I started suffering from RBD........ Rapid Eye Movement Behavioural Disorder. I too have vivid and violent dreams. My neurolologist put me on Clonazepam which has virtually stopped my bad nights. I understand that there's a feature on this website covering RBD. I hope that you will find this helpful.
I get the nightmares and have to sleep alone now to stop me waking o/h up all the time. i have thrown myself out of bed twice dreaming about falling. I'm not on meds so its not side effects. I was offered clonazepam but thought I'd try to manage without as can't afford to be groggy in the morning with a long journey to work.
Hi Yorkie, my heart went out to you and your husband when I read your message. Similarities and differences of course, but I too experience the RBD mentioned, my wife too has had a punch from an unconscious husband (me) and we now sleep apart, albeit amicably, so that she doesn't get hit any more.
There have been a few mentions in the responses about medication. I just wanted to add the possibility of a full medication review by your pharmacist, rather than your doctor. This is a free service and the real benefit is that they are experts in meds and interactions, whereas the doctors know what effects the meds have that they provide, but in fairness can't be expected to have the same knowledge about them as a pharmacist. I have had a couple over the years and learnt something at each, once about timing of meds and another about not taking certain ones at the same time as each other. The doctor hadn't mentioned these points probably because the combination of drugs some of us have to take can be quite unusual.
Anyway, I found it really useful and if nothing else it would put your mind at rest that the drugs aren't causing these difficulties and upsets for you both. Its free and local. Take good care.