Hello all. I am 40 and have had a Parkinson’s diagnosis since late 2017. I still work, and I am the breadwinner for my wife and two boys ages 6 and 8. After I was diagnosed I started on Requip (roprinirol) as well as Azilect (rasagaline). The neurologist warned us about the possible impulse problems and we were on the lookout for them initially, but a year passed and nothing had changed in terms of impulse control, and the medication helped with my Parkinson’s symptoms, so I was happy.
However, after the first year, my sex drive increased. I began watching more porn, and then soon even that wasn’t enough. I eventually went to prostitutes, and did so probably around 15 times in the past year. Eventually I came to the realization that the medication was likely causing this, because I wasn’t even enjoying most of it, simply felt I had to do it or “deserved” it, and although I knew it was wrong and could destroy my marriage, I just didn’t care.
Recently my wife found out about it because she saw my search history on the computer, and I am glad she did, because that was the only thing that was going to stop me from spiraling completely out of control. Of course, she is shocked and horrified. I never had any interest in prostitutes before I was on the medication, and she knows that, but she says she finds the whole thing too disgusting to ever be my partner again. She also can’t understand why I didn’t tell her…but how could I have? I was too afraid that she would leave me, which she may do anyway.
This is only two weeks old, so I know she needs time to come to terms with it. She knows the medication has played a role, but also sees me as being ultimately responsible. I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have, and I don’t want to portray myself as the victim, as I know she is certainly the one who has been hurt on my account. But I know this never would have happened had I been healthy and never needed a dopamine agonist. How can I make her understand that? I tell her every day how much I love her and that I can’t imagine going through life without her and my boys, plus the Parkinson’s on top of it all. Has anyone been through a similar situation? I would appreciate advice from others who have lived through this hell. Thanks to all.