I would like some advise if possible please. My husband of 19 years was Diagnosed with Parkinson’s at only 32 years old. We have 3 children and Upto last few years we have remained close to each other.
Two years ago I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and luckily after a year of treatment I have had the all clear. This and with my husbands Parkinson’s deteriorating has put a lot of strain on our relationship.
I found out recently that he has been accessing porn regularly and signed up to a number of dating websites which he has spent £100’s of pounds on.
I asked him to be honest with me about them and at first he lied and said he’d been scammed but then I found the emails in his phone with conversations.
He says he did it because he was lonely and that I didn’t give him the affection he needed anymore. Basically it’s all my fault. I have 3 children to look after on my own, I work, I have two elderly parents who are dependent on me and to be honest I do as much as I can. I am my husbands carer too.
He has said he won’t do it again and is sorry and wants to move forward and he has been better. But I am so heartbroken I just don’t know if I can get over this.
His family have been very cruel towards me too, they blame me for his Parkinson’s just because he got it while we have been together and they blame me for his cheating. They are very unsupportive and all they do is judge and blame.
I feel very lost with all this, I just wondered if anyone had experienced similar and how they got through it please.
Hello Helen,
Thank you for sharing your experience. We’re very glad to hear that you’ve been given the all clear after treatment for bowel cancer. We understand that it must have been very difficult to navigate both your treatment and your husbands Parkinson’s deteriorating. This must have been a hard time for you both and your relationship. We’re really sorry to hear this and understand how hard this must have been for you and your family.
Impulsive and compulsive behaviours are a possible side effect of some Parkinson’s drugs. Hypersexuality - when a person has unusually strong sexual thoughts and urges that they can’t control can be one of these behaviours and it can lead people to use porn websites. You can read more about this on our website which might be helpful: Impulsive and compulsive behaviours in Parkinson's | Parkinson's UK.
We understand that impulsive and compulsive behaviours can have a serious impact on a person with Parkinson’s and those around them. It’s understandable that this has caused you upset, especially when there has not always been honesty about these behaviours from your husband.
The best way to manage these behaviours is by talking to your specialist or Parkinson’s nurse. They can make changes to your husband’s medication, such as adjusting your husband’s routine or doses, which can help him control these symptoms.
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, including navigating relationships with your husband’s family, looking after your children, being your husbands carer and supporting your parents. You also need support too. We have a range of support for caring for someone with Parkinson’s on our website: Supporting someone with Parkinson's | Parkinson's UK. Please don’t forget we’re here to help you as well.
Take care 
Parkinson’s UK Moderation Team
Does Parkinson’s Nurse know? If not they need to know.
My PD affects me in a similar way which is why my Parkinson’s appointments have to include my Wife, there are certain medications I won’t be given until they are absolutely last option, and a big part of my appointment is related to compulsive behaviour…
Please remember this, it is NOT your fault.
Don’t be shy to tell your Inlaw’s to do one.
I found it interesting that your husband lied about it as that is something (because of PD) that I cannot do so I just assumed that was pretty much the case for everyone.
Get a PD Nurse appointment.
A few days late to this post but I just want to say it’s unfortunately a horrible side affect that we’ve also seen and have to be exceedingly careful with now. Medication has been tweaked and some close monitoring has really helped too. I was heartbroken when I found stuff out but have to understand it’s the medication that made my husband do it. Hope you’ve been able to help.
Try and get some talking therapy for you too, that’s helped me! Talk to GP and look after yourself as well as making sure nurse and consultant are both aware and can help monitor the situation.
Hello,
As others have said, the PD nurse or consultant needs to know. This behaviour is a known side effect and medication may need gradual adjustment over time. Requip is a particularly bad one for it. Its not your husband’s fault. If you have a look back over the Impulsive and Compulsive category here, you will see similar stories and those of prostitution, online shopping, gambling etc. Sorry but your in laws sound ignorant and mean.
I would also reconsider access to credit. It wont be an easy conversation but maybe nurse or consultant will suggest anyway and youll be half way there. If there was a way to restrict the limit, maybe he use something like a munso card and you transfer X amount at a time etc. Maybe you could also look at broadband and intetnet use, perfect excuse if you have kids!
My heart goes out to you, it’s very difficult.