My world changed in two days. I had consecutive appointments on Wed and Thurs 2 months ago. I see the Urology consultant on Wed next for his conclusion. There is a faint glimmer of hope on this one. I was given this by J of grey cottage. I'm not building up my hopes, but the respite was useful and very much appreciated. Dealing with PD was enough to start with. I am now rebuilding.
It does focus the mind though. Previously there was always tomorrow. Now its get on with it before its too late.
Things have had to be toned down a bit. With planning and consideration (which my wife excels at) I still do interesting things. I may pay the price the following day, but if that's the way it has to be then so be it.
I have been in pain for 8 years. It has become part of daily life. I refuse to let it dull my sense of humour.
I applaud your attitude. I worked in areas which required a basic knowledge of psychology. One thing was stressed time and again......you will only change if you want change. You display this desire. Consequently you should achieve it. Below are some bullet points for basic requirements.
Security – safe territory and an environment which allows full maturity and development
Attention (to give and receive it) – a form of "mental nutrition"
Sense of autonomy and control – having volition to make responsible choices
Being emotionally connected to others
Feeling part of a wider community
Friendship and intimacy with someone who is accepting of the total person, flaws included
Privacy – opportunity to reflect and consolidate experience
Sense of status within social groupings
Sense of competence and achievement
Meaning and purpose
These relate to a therapy known as Human Givens. We used this at the last place I worked. Previously I worked with a system known as Solution Focused Therapy.
S.F.T. had a novel little trick for self analysis. Scale your self 1-10 with 1 being dreadful 10 being superb.
No one is a 10. You'd have to be the archangel Gabriel.
I'll do it for an example using today....... I rate myself as 5 today on getting up. I needed to think of ways to get to 6 if possible.
What will put me up to 6. Communication helps. Send my wife a silly text to make her smile. Give the kids next door the left over sweets from Halloween. Have a chat to their mum. Have a pint of coffee made with milk and read a while. Listen to some music. I could go on but you get the idea. I'm at 6-7 now. This will drop back tomorrow, but that's another day and I will deal with that when it comes.
In your post you display all the resolve to achieve your goals. If every one did the same we would all be smiling a little more. I know it's not easy but another thing mentioned regularly at our training sessions was.....you can talk yourself up or you can talk yourself down.
If you are in a group of people who are always looking for negatives you will become negative. Like wise the reverse applies.
I have found on here people are generally positive and very supportive. Distractions are provided, humour is used and information shared. It is a good forum.
The mind is a very powerful tool. If we use it correctly and channel it we can make ourselves feel a whole lot better. Not cured, that is beyond medical science at the moment.
We could all go down the bitter road and moan and groan. If we did we would slip into depression.
I love reading a post like yours which says to hell with PD I'm getting on with my life. It's hard road to travel, but we can do it. If we don't no one else will do it for us.
If it was easy everyone would be smiling, being difficult just makes the outcome more valuable and worth the effort. Even if we only get half way, we are half way nearer than we were.
This post is not meant to be patronising. It is based on things I have seen work for others and personal experience.
Good luck Doc you go for it. Orpheus.