PMA revistied

Thanks for all the supportive messages in respect of my earlier thread.

Since my wife has been diagnosed I've strived to maintain a pma but what I find difficult is the uncertainty surrounding what lies ahead and the fact that her condition will deteriorate unless research can find an answer.

I've always had a morbid fear of old age and illness and whilst when I think logically I understand that we must live life for today and ignore the future, in my darker moments (I suffer from depression) I feel engulfed my fear and despair.

I understand the sense of living for today and we are both determined to live as normal a life for as long as we possibly can but these thoughts of the future still invade my brain unbidden. This normally happens at night or the early hours when I cannot sleep properly. as a consequence I finally awake exhausted and desperate.

Do others experience the same and if so could you share your coping strategies please

Hi DT - It's difficult the whole what's in the future thing :fearful: but at the end of the day no-one really knows what the future holds for any of us really, so I find it easier to live for the moment. Sleeping is an issue for me because of the PD but medicated now which helps. Do you have a local PD group :question: or maybe chat with the PD nurse they are there for families as well as PWP. Hope this helps I know depressive illness not great and worrying about your OH must make it worse, but try and concentrate on the pluses as it will help you both - good luck speak again in 2012.

Hi Davech,

What you are going through is very like a bereavement - a sudden snatching away of the life you assumed you would have. But as any bereaved person will telll you, you will learn to live with it and the uncertainty that comes with the dx.
When I was diagnosed nearly three years ago, I screamed and howled for several hours when I got home from the neuro having gone alone. I seemed to get it all out of my system but a week or two later when I went to my son's house, I broke down and said , " Last time I was here I was normal" , because everything around me was carrying on as normal but my life had changed for ever. I have learned to live with the uncertainty but it was a year or more long time before "I have Parkinsons" stopped running through my head on a loop. Fortunately I am doing very well compared with other ladies the same age (72) dx at the same time as me and I am convinced regular exercise helps "maintain function" as the jargon has it. Since then a friend I have known for nearly twenty years has been dx with pancreatic cancer with weeks to live which rather puts things into perspective for me. Not that that will be of any comfort to you at this time.

There are lots of examples on this forum who have managed to maintain a reasonable quality of life for many years in spite of Mr. P. and its much more likely than not that your partner will too.