Hello all,
There have been many posts recently referring to the member Ali J. These posts have deteriorated into a situation of accusations, leaving forum members angry and confused. All threads referring to this issue have been removed and any further posts referring to it will be removed until we have time to review this situation.
Forums members should bear in mind the purpose of this forum is for people with Parkinson's, their carers and family to have some form of support. This is especially important during the evening hours when members rely on this. This has, by and large been happening. However, these arguments have moved us away from meeting this purpose.
Many people have posted on other forums asking for advice in other areas. Let's continue to offer support to each other.
Best regards,
Ezinda
Moderator
thankyou x
Dear Fellow Forum Members
During this past week there have been many posts concerning the well-being of Ali J, with claims of harassment, bullying and misrepresentation of facts. To try and preserve the atmosphere of the Forum these posts were removed by the Moderators with the request that no more be posted. However, things have moved on, and I have the Moderator’s permission to post this report which I hope will explain the situation.
Ali J told us here and on PD Junction, a site of which I am a Moderator, that she was going into hospital on Friday of last week to have a cancerous kidney removed. A message received ostensibly from her daughter, but on Ali’s own profile, stated that the operation would take place on the next day. This being a Saturday, some people questioned this, since surgery is not normally scheduled for weekends. Later on the Saturday, we had news by the same method that Ali was in a critical condition in ITU; the op had to be halted since she had a ruptured spleen and had suffered a heart attack. A later message told us that her diabetes was out of control too. Despite this, she was deemed strong enough to have the kidney removed on the Monday.
There was much concern amongst all of her many friends. Jacqui, the owner of PD Junction, contacted the hospital directly for information regarding her condition, only to be told that she wasn’t there; that they didn’t do weekend operations; that they didn’t do THAT operation at all. She went on to check all the local hospitals but drew blank. When daughter Beci was contacted, she and another Forum member and good friend of Ali told us that the reason the hospital denied knowing Ali was that she was under police protection from the family of her ex-husband. We were very concerned but also puzzled by all of this. Ali telephoned Jacqui on the Wednesday, supposedly from her hospital bed on her mobile. During the call, a door slammed and a dog started barking ....
At this stage we sought police advice. They managed to contact Ali by telephone, but she refused to tell them her location. Then Ali herself reappeared on the forums having been released from hospital, and still claiming that the whole story was true and she was very ill. The police, however, called on her and found her at home with her daughter, apparently fit and well.
There were many other incidental happenings, too many to go into here but it is not necessary to do so. To suffer a ruptured spleen, a heart attack, a kidney removal and have the added complications of diabetes and PD, and be out of hospital within a week just doesn't happen.
Since Ali refused to admit any of this, and also because she had been falsely accusing a member of both Forums, Dotty, of harassment for many months, it was decided reluctantly to ban her from PD Junction. The allegations against Dotty were very serious and had greatly upset her, with Ali claiming to be suicidal as a result. The decision to suspend her from this site for three months was taken today. It was felt that this was the best thing – if not the only thing – that the Forums could do for her. Ali is ill – of that there is no doubt – and needs help, but of the right sort, and it is help beyond the ability of the forums to give.
There is a feeling of great sadness over on PD Junction as a result of this, and I’m sure there will be here too. Ali was a founder member of the site and was well known by all. Many feel deceived, but the level of compassion and forgiveness far exceeds this. I am sure we all hope that Ali can get the treatment that she needs to restore her to health and the happiness that she craves, and all deserve.
Peter.
During this past week there have been many posts concerning the well-being of Ali J, with claims of harassment, bullying and misrepresentation of facts. To try and preserve the atmosphere of the Forum these posts were removed by the Moderators with the request that no more be posted. However, things have moved on, and I have the Moderator’s permission to post this report which I hope will explain the situation.
Ali J told us here and on PD Junction, a site of which I am a Moderator, that she was going into hospital on Friday of last week to have a cancerous kidney removed. A message received ostensibly from her daughter, but on Ali’s own profile, stated that the operation would take place on the next day. This being a Saturday, some people questioned this, since surgery is not normally scheduled for weekends. Later on the Saturday, we had news by the same method that Ali was in a critical condition in ITU; the op had to be halted since she had a ruptured spleen and had suffered a heart attack. A later message told us that her diabetes was out of control too. Despite this, she was deemed strong enough to have the kidney removed on the Monday.
There was much concern amongst all of her many friends. Jacqui, the owner of PD Junction, contacted the hospital directly for information regarding her condition, only to be told that she wasn’t there; that they didn’t do weekend operations; that they didn’t do THAT operation at all. She went on to check all the local hospitals but drew blank. When daughter Beci was contacted, she and another Forum member and good friend of Ali told us that the reason the hospital denied knowing Ali was that she was under police protection from the family of her ex-husband. We were very concerned but also puzzled by all of this. Ali telephoned Jacqui on the Wednesday, supposedly from her hospital bed on her mobile. During the call, a door slammed and a dog started barking ....
At this stage we sought police advice. They managed to contact Ali by telephone, but she refused to tell them her location. Then Ali herself reappeared on the forums having been released from hospital, and still claiming that the whole story was true and she was very ill. The police, however, called on her and found her at home with her daughter, apparently fit and well.
There were many other incidental happenings, too many to go into here but it is not necessary to do so. To suffer a ruptured spleen, a heart attack, a kidney removal and have the added complications of diabetes and PD, and be out of hospital within a week just doesn't happen.
Since Ali refused to admit any of this, and also because she had been falsely accusing a member of both Forums, Dotty, of harassment for many months, it was decided reluctantly to ban her from PD Junction. The allegations against Dotty were very serious and had greatly upset her, with Ali claiming to be suicidal as a result. The decision to suspend her from this site for three months was taken today. It was felt that this was the best thing – if not the only thing – that the Forums could do for her. Ali is ill – of that there is no doubt – and needs help, but of the right sort, and it is help beyond the ability of the forums to give.
There is a feeling of great sadness over on PD Junction as a result of this, and I’m sure there will be here too. Ali was a founder member of the site and was well known by all. Many feel deceived, but the level of compassion and forgiveness far exceeds this. I am sure we all hope that Ali can get the treatment that she needs to restore her to health and the happiness that she craves, and all deserve.
Peter.
I find that all very sad. Alij look after yourself.
Thanks Peter, it is so sad. I just hope Ali can get the treatment she most clearly needs.
Jonny
Jonny
Its very quiet without Alij. What ever happened she is a character. Knowing what you know i would still like to read her writings on the forum. I have always taken what she said and the way she wrote with scepticicm. But i know we all have a problem the way we have to cope with our PD and i make allowances for that. And i like to think we are all here to catch each other when the going gets rough. With all her problems i feel Alij would be better with us now we all know the score.
Firstly thanks Ezinda - you imo are the first moderator who has responded to the members of the forum as intelligent adults!
I rarely post, prefer to be a lurker. Over time (to a certain extent caused by previous heavy handed moderation although hopefully this will now change with Ezinda in the role) this has gone from a thriving forum to one where very few post. I may be alone here - whilst I genuinely wish Ali all the best and hope that she gets the support she needs, for me a lot of her entries and responses to them are why I haven't contemplated posting regularly in the past - sorry if that seems harsh, but when people try to hog the limelight by being too needy when there are people far worse off than them (not me....yet) then it can put people off contributing.
I rarely post, prefer to be a lurker. Over time (to a certain extent caused by previous heavy handed moderation although hopefully this will now change with Ezinda in the role) this has gone from a thriving forum to one where very few post. I may be alone here - whilst I genuinely wish Ali all the best and hope that she gets the support she needs, for me a lot of her entries and responses to them are why I haven't contemplated posting regularly in the past - sorry if that seems harsh, but when people try to hog the limelight by being too needy when there are people far worse off than them (not me....yet) then it can put people off contributing.
Three months is a long time with PD which we know is not going to get better. I feel Alij knew she was digging a hole and in her last entires she was trying to get out and hope this would all be forgot. I felt she just wanted attention which is ok by me. I don't know if its ok with the rest of you ?
Yes i feel the moderator was right to do something but i would still like to see Alij back but thats just me i could see she has got a good heart. We are all ill and i do silly things sometimes so i am not going to throw the firt stone.
To make her lies so obvious and easily exposed it seems that deep down Ali wanted to be found out.People do do this. I, for one, am glad that Ali J does exist because for a long time I have wondered whether it was somebody taking the P*** She so desperately needs help,and support and I hope she is getting it. I am for readmitting her to the Forum but only in the social section. Any posts she attempted to make elsewhere could be removed.The situation could be reviewed later.