I was diagnosed in 2006. I was working in a Department of Clinical Neurology - not as a professional in the field but with literature around me to work out before diagnosis that i had PD. The first sign was that my writing, hitherto large and sprawling, had become small and spidery; the second sign was that I wore the heel of my right foot down much more quickly than my left, indicating that I was scuffing my right foot.
Diagnosis was alarmingly quick - I was asked to do the motion of a duck's beak with both hands, simultaneously - the left hand kept it up without faltering, the right hand started to reduce the movement after a few seconds so that within a short time it was hardly 'quacking' at all! And that was it: the diagnosis...
On leaving the consultant with a prescription for dopamine agonists, I burst into tears, but since then I have found that acceptance is a better way of managing the condition than fighting it. This doesn't mean I don't push myself to, say, walk without scuffing and putting expression into my face, both of which I have to concentrate furiously on when I'm out and about; I speak sternly to myself if I see myself stooping in a shop-window reflection, My errant right arm, which tends to flutter around when I first start walking p the hill to the shops, soon settles down when I establish a rhythm with my fingers for it to follow and be tamed. When I scrabble for coins in my purse because my fingers are losing fine motor skills in that particular operation I make a joke about how I'd hoped that this new purse would yield it's contents more willingly than the old one - and other ploys... I'm not above slapping the PD card on the table, as it were, when I hear people reciting a litany of small complaints about their lives.
Briefly, then, if I am gradually (and so far my progress has been gradual) to lose mobility and quality of life, then I'm going to squeeze as much from what I have now and live life to the full. I want to go on singing and dancing, literally, until the music stops.
I love your fighting spirit although i do get down with this I always fight my way back i am motorbike mad and i refuse point blank to let my PD stop me going on one i ride i dance on my stick and i will carry on regardless as to weather the music stops of not.
When I have down days, this is where I should come - to read these posts by bettyblue and molie. I feel almost ashamed for letting my condition get to me!! Well done girls - keep up the words of encouragement and thank you!
The only thing I would like to suggest to you is that you will be better off if you stop lecturing yourself and observing yourself with such consternation. It is very normal to look for what we don't like in order to avoid danger. There is no real danger in the things you are so critical of. I have found a better way by noticing what I like and focusing on that. I.E, a glimpse of yourself walking upright. A quick, "Good", "you've got it" and really feeling what your body feels like in this position will go a long way to keep it going. Positive reinforcement of what you like, works equally well for puppies and people. By doing this for myself, I have learned to walk really well and I am starting to even run. I do take medications as well.
I'm lucky in that the progress of my particular PD has been slow so that I have been able to cope with it, my life not having changed much. I do get tired and then the pushing has to stop if even for only a short time so that I can refuel. Havng to concentrate on walking without scuffing, swinging my dodgy arm, putting expression into my face, not always saying what I think - all that is tiring, don't you think? - but well worth the effort.
I used to have a motorbike, years before PD, when I lived in London. I used to be so hyped up when I got home in the evening that no-one dared come near me for at leas an hour! I would like some of that adrenaline now...
