Shopping aaagh!


#1
I`ve not been on the forum for quite a while due to renovation work at home which has made my pd symptoms worse but i`m happy to be back. I`m so annoyed at an incident while shopping i just need to tell someone who understands!

I have suffered anxiety for over 3 years and been diagnosed with pd for 2 years. After having a panic attack in a supermarket i haven`t been able to go shopping on my own for nearly 2 1/2 years. My husband is really good and constantly tells me how good i look even though i feel people looking at me (due to my slowness, stiffness and slight tremor). Last week i plucked up the courage to shop in Asda and felt really good (after visiting small shops for 1 or 2 items over the last year), i even managed a full baske! The worse bit was the dreaded till and made sure i had plenty of time to put my shopping on the conveyor. Feeling proud of my self walked past the cashier to pack (which i dread) my shopping to be asked if i was ok because i looked like i had back trouble and didn`t look very well! I tried to make light of the comment but the tremor started and my speech became slurred so i told him i was a pd sufferer only then to be humiliated by his sympathy and (in a loud voice) telling me `not to worry i can take all day` in front of a big cue of people. I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me!! I couldn`t get out of the shop fast enough. I spent the journey home in floods of tears.Why do people have to comment i feel like that`s 18 months down the drain and i`m back to square one again!

Even though its knocked my confidence i`m gonna try again (maybe after a stiff drink) but not Asda!

Chris

#2
Hello Big c

I have started to shop on line. It is stress free. Tesco deliver to the door. Easy!! I know exactly how you feel, movements slow get stressed which causes your tremors to be worse. Struggle to put the shopping into bags.( Bless you .)
How frustrating this PD is, but do remember your not alone going through these situations, and yes we do understand. you feel that everyone is watching you, and really they are not.

take care love PB x

#3
Chris, it's fantastic that you went shopping after years of avoiding it. You made a plan and you stuck to it, when you could have given up. It must have taken a lot of courage to do that and of course you wanted everything to just be 'normal' for you. But you did complete your task - and on a different day, maybe when it wasn't quite so vital to you to succeed without support - it's not often in a big shop an assistant will enquire how you are and if you need any help, and people do get things a bit wrong sometimes but s/he was attempting, in their own way, to reassure you that you need not rush, which again assistants (tired, overworked, long shifts) often don't offer this reassurance. It was very sensible and strong for you to tell them you had PD too. Is there a way you can turn your feelings about the trip to look at it in a different way and congratulate yourself on what you acheived? And not be too hard on yourself, I'm sure next time will feel easier.

#4
I'm probably going to say the wrong thing here - but I dont mean to.

I think the person saying for you to take your time meant it genuinly - he didn't mean it anyway - just that you had the 'right' to take as long as it took you - and it was no problem - the same as people with children hold up the queue while they unpack onto the belt and then pack while looking where their children are - sometime I hold up the queue because I can't work out which bag to put things in, you just think that it's worse because you have parkinsons,but it's not - it's just your fears coming to the front.

My daughter works in a bakery and came home one evening and said a woman in her shop had trouble getting her change out of her purse and was all appolagetic and said it was because she had parkinsons and couldn't help it - my daughter said she wouldn't have even noticed had the woman not said - she was no slower or quicker than alot of the people she had in - and she was sorry that the woman had felt that she had had to explain when there was really no need to - as my daughter wouldn't have noticed.

#5
Big C

You need to change your attitude.

You may be slightly rigid and tremorous, a lot of people are very ugly and others don't have enough brains to give themselves a sore head.

Your plan B should be get in their first. Ask for a hand with packing. Most of good quality cashiers will just get on with it, smile, ask if it's still raining, winge about their shift, make the whole shopping experience a pleasurable one. The ne'er do wells will huff and puff, pull a face, have a pussin face on throughout the transaction. Pay for your items thank them kindly and enjoy your commestibles.

If you got an idiot, just smile feel some compassion for them. They may have had a bad day, they may be of a lower IQ/EQ, they are thoughtless/stupid/insensitive/(look-a-me-mods, despite the temptation, not a sweary word to be seen - I sense your collective bosoms swelling with pride).
Whatever there reason, you keep smiling cos when you get home you are going to write a letter grassing them up to their manager. You'll maybe get a voucher, they'll get extra customer care training/their jotters/put back on shelf stacking.

Tell them about the good ones as well. Get them promoted/praised/the recognition they deserve.

As you become more confident you can become more sarcastic. If they pull a face - ask if they are OK.

I got a young lad newby the other day, he was all smiley to begin with, he asked if I needed help with packing (as he had been trained to do) he looked like he had been shot when I said "Yes please".His face went red and i got a glare of suspicion between each scan. I just smiled and stared back. Then it became clear he was rubbish at packing, he took ages to open the bags. I pitied him, enjoyed dinner and didn't give him another thought until now.

Enjoy your shopping and don't give a st8ff what anyone else thinks. I fell into the tomatoes once (or twice). I reckon they should have a barrier. Someone may have seen me, possibly let out a chortle. I laugh at Jack Douglas in the carry on films, so I cant complain. I just got on with my shopping - I went elsewhere for my tomatoes, those ones were a bit squishy.

#6
Get a couple of T-shirts printed:

"I've got Parkinson's - what's YOUR excuse?"
.

#7
Hi Big C, Don't give up .I used to be the same,Try this have your card or cash already in your hand.Don't mention that you have PD.If they ask if you want help with your packing,just say you may need a little help because you cant use your hands very well.I find its better to pack a little bit than just standing there .Or getting flustered trying to do it yourself.I also shop at the beginning of the week when its not busy.

#8
Hi ROS - I love the t-shirt idea - excellent :grin:

#9
I know that feeling very well!!!!! I have been suffering from involuntary body movements recently, brought on by my long term use of Levodoa. I was at the till paying for an item recently and the young lady serving me asked me if I needed the toilet!!! I asked her why she had put the question to me and she replied in a loud voice ' well your squirming all over he place'. Of course she was mortified when I told her why I couldn't stop 'squirming' and I did say perhaps she needed to think before she spoke next time. Some people eh!!

Glenchass

#10
Thanks every one for your reply's i`m sorry my blog was so long i just needed to express my humiliation and anger. Its great to have people who understand and the T/shirt idea from ROS is brill.

I feel so lucky after reading other blogs that my pd is not too bad & the medication seems to be working (for now). I always say to myself live for today and don`t worry about tomorrow no one knows what's around the corner!

I`m not going to let this stop me from shopping it just makes me more eager to prove to myself i can do it.

Thank heavens for beta blockers!!!

Chris

#11
Hi big c


I've been slowing down and had stiffness in limbs for 15 year without knowing what it was.so I slowly adapted my shopping tactics.i don't use a basket even for one thing I use a trolley to hold onto.when I have a full trolley I look for the biggest pile on the belts and load mine on.that way you've got plenty of time.when they ask if I need help I say yes but tell them nothing else.if you did the same no one would know.be proud that your shopping.keep shopping.

We're all proud of you here on the forum

#12
I take any chance to let people know , that the reason we are holding them up or cannot get out of their way is because my husband struggles with PARKINSONS .. I think it might help them understand when the next person who comes along with Parkinsons or something similar.

#13
Oh by the way I also do my shopping on line . I don't drive and my husband had to give it up about 2 years ago . It has a been a way of keeping some of our independance .

#14
hi johnnie

i also have a daughter in a wheelchair and when i take her shopping you wouldnt believe the stares we get.
one old woman was staring at my daughter that much she didnt noticed i side stepped into her path and she walked 5 feet straight into me.did she feel daft.

people do not realise that if you have a disability all the pain and hard work they have to do.just to do the things they do never mind shopping.

sorry i went on a bit

#15
Hi everyone
Well its 2 weeks since my shopping trip & yippee i`ve revisited ASDA!! i must admit i inspected every till to avoid the cashier i had the pleasure of meeting last time & with a sick, stomach churning feeling made sure i found a till still pretty much full giving me plenty of time to prepare myself.It took a lot of courage but i did it & i even managed a chat with the young girl even though there was a cue of people behind me @ survived pretty much intact.

Only problem being because of the stress it took me 20 minutes to find the car (I couldn`t remember where the hell i had parked it) & brought more attention to my self staggering up & down the car park trolley Leyden with goodies!!

One day we must write a book on our experiences! you've`e got to laugh it keeps you going!

Thanks again for you support Chris