Sudden change to symptons / 24 hour care/ care home


#1

Hi

I have been caring for my mother who has been living alone in a retirement flat.   She has carers twice a day and various help from me but has been doing well.  She had Parkinsons for about 12 years and now dementia.   Suddenly she fell and her mobility went seriously downhil really in a period of about a week. They thought it was an infection at first but now say it is just the next stage of the Parkinsons.   They have said it is end stages and are talking about reducing her medication to reduce the risk of her falling (which will decrease the mobility she has) and don't seem to feel they can do anything positively to improve her mobility again.  Though I appreciate Parkinsons gets worse it seems bizarre that she has gone from walking almost unaided to needing constant help and nothing really can be done.

They are also saying that her risk of falling is so high (due to mobility and confusion) that she will need 24/7 care.    She can be quite with it and walk fairly well at some points (though is wobbly and at risk of fall) and other times can't get up or walk at all without assistance and needs to be talked through step by step due to her confusion.   When you see her at her best, however, the thought that she can never be independent again is quite shocking.

My husband and I had long thought my mother might need to move in with us at some point maybe within the next couple of years but in view of how she was doing we thought it might be more general supervision and meals that we would provide.  Maybe 24/7 care at some point but not for some significant time.  My mother is only 68.     We would need to move house first though and I would need to quit my job so this couldn't happen instantly.  We also don't know if it is physically possible as my mother is currently in respite and they are using various aids to get her to the toilet at night when her mobility goes right down so if they can't manage it alone - how would I?

But the other option is a care home.   Again just because so recently she was doing well we would not have anticipated having this conversation at this stage.  

Any thoughts or similar experiences appreciated?