My partner has spent all day in A&E after losing all muscle control last night. He was given all the usual tests and discharged as there was nothing medically requiring admission. But since we got home at 6pm, it’s been a nonstop nightmare. He has fallen several times, peeed on the carpets and floors, struggled to move, and there has been no sleep at all. It’s now 3am and we’ve decided to sit up because the chair makes him more stable. I am about 4 stone lighter than him and can’t get him up off the floor easily. We have no supports, no carers no equipment. It will be another week before he sees his consultant and I honestly think we’ll both be dead by then! Exhaustion and falls, including backwards down stairs. Where do I go? His fa,ily live in England. I’m the only one he has
I hear the urgency and fear in your message. What you’re describing sounds extremely difficult. Right now the most important thing is keeping you and your partner safe tonight.
Here are the immediate steps you can take:
- If your partner continues to fall or you cannot keep him safe, please call 999 for emergency help. The paramedics can assess him and help make sure he is safe.
- If it feels less urgent but you still need urgent advice, you can also call NHS 111 (or 111 online) and explain the situation clearly.
- Please also call our helpline on 0808 800 0303 (open 9am–7pm weekdays, 10am–2pm Saturday). Our team can talk through options for emergency support and keeping yourself safe. You can also email us at [email protected] if that’s easier.
You should not be left to manage falls and sleepless nights on your own. If you’re ever worried about both of your immediate safety, please do not wait until the consultant appointment — call 999.
Parkinson’s UK Moderation Team
Good afternoon Mary … So sorry to hear your partner is unwell and that you have no help available.
A few things, you do not say where you live, you say he has family in England. So
I assume you live in Scotland or Wales. You also do not give his age or whether he has Parkinson’s.
I am 71 and live alone. I also have Parkinson’s and a few other health things going on.
On Monday I was woken at 1am with Chest pains. The pains were in my left upper chest, shoulder and back. I put up with it all day and then phoned 111 for advise around 10pm.
They asked me a few questions and then said they would send an ambulance.
In the ambulance they gave me an ECG which looked normal but wanted to take me to hospital, which they did.
The hospital was very busy and I had to wait in the waiting room. They did another ECG and a number of blood tests. At 8am I was at last seen by a very young doctor.
I nearly asked why he wasn’t at school. He organised another blood test to compare it with the much earlier blood test.
The results came back an hour later … No heart attack … So I got a taxi and home
I went.
I still have the pain in my chest, which is clearly worrying me. I have not done anything to cause it, no falls etc.
So I am just like your husband. In limbo, not knowing what I should do next. Clearly like you found A&E is not the solution. So I will phone my GP which will also be a waist of time.
Best of luck.
Steve2
Hi Steve I suspect that your anxiety of scan maybe a contributing to your chest pains, see if the doctor can give you something to help?
Hello. I didn’t have time to reply to messages till now.
My partners sister and daughter are here for five days so I can catch my breath.
First of all, we got through that awful night. He had a chest infection which made his PD worse apparently and he is responding to antibiotics thankfully. I did ring during the night but was told there was nothing anyone could do as he had already been seen and discharged from hospital. We see his consultant tomorrow and hope to discuss carers etc . We have very little information at the moment and no help.
My situation is complicated by the fact that we are not married and don’t live together, though we have been together ten years. He is 77 and I am 68. I drive the 25 miles there and back daily. I have declutterred and cleaned his house and ensured his mobility is not compromised in any way. I have organised his house around his needs. The thing which I find very difficult is not my partner, but his family. If we were married, they would respect me more. As it is, they don’t consider me as part of the family and yet they are not here to help. I think that this is probably the most difficult thing for me as I love my partner and want to care for him. It sounds silly, but decisions I made about keeping him safe at home have been found “interfering”. We live in Ireland by the way. I am semi-retired, working online several mornings a week and have two rescue dogs which I can’t abandon. Thankfully my own health is holding up, but I am exhausted and the journey has just begun.