Hello all and hope you are all well and having better weather than here in t'North, Leeds but we do have a Harvey Nic's. I have to make a confession that I have not been 100% truthful about myself and my condition. It wasn't until yesterday that i realised i cannot keep up this pretence any longer to so many nice, helpful, supportive, open and honest people so here goes and hope you understand that it wasn't my intention to fool anybody least of all myself though I think some of you may have had an idea.
My name is John ***** and up to yesterday when I had to face the truth and finally admit that i have never really Accepted that I was a person who had Parkinson's Disease.
I know but have do accept in my in my own way. Accept is a word that I have never used about myself to myself. I have been diagnosed by a Consultant, confirmed by my PD Nurse, had the support of my wife, tell my daughter i had it and convince her that it is always there but not the end, have tremors and a multitude of symptoms and knew that i had Parkinson's Disease. Took meds, attended appointments, seen the specialists and changes in people both positive and negtative as PD progressed and struggled in a whole host of ways because of it.
It is hard to describe but like i was tied to some one I didn't want to be with and they will do all they can to make my life harder but i will carry on without fully acknowledging him so i don't' have to change how i do things.
I have not meant to be but I have been very selfish in not accepting this condition and changing and doing all I can, so all this help and support i have been so lucky to have is not for nothing. I have apologised to my wife, my daughter (via Facebook obviously) and apologise to all you forum members who have been so great with their help and advice. and also my PDNurse, you get the idea
I had told my wife that it is not affecting me like other PWP and can carry on as normal but she had seen the changes but still i did not listen and accept it. You can lead an horse to water. but you can't make it.....but occasionally it can realise there is a issue with a little prod or maybe a good kick up the ass.
Three things have got me to my acceptance of Parkinson's Disease. My Wife, my PDNurse and meeting some special people on this forum. With not knowing anyone before with this condition only hearing of some who knew some and you should see them i suppose i refused to accept and deal with changes.
This forum and especially a certain few has thankfully opened my eyes to the realisation that we are still who we are and that change does not mean the end just a course alteration. So I thank you all.
I mentioned my name as it helps me see that i'am still that person with the illness as i was without it and as you can read do like to type and type and type and miss-spell. I started a new topic i thought this would be best place for it and to be honest don't know if I will visit it again as it was to serve a purpose and has done. I will still be the one who isn't allowed much on the main forum and resides on the ParkyD thread and who likes to make a show.
Ladies and Gentleman I have great pleasure in introducing tonights special guest who will be presenting this award MrJohnnyParky.
Good evening folks and without further ado I would like to reveal the latest winner of the Parkinson's Disease acceptance award is none other than the Handsome, Charming, witty, funny, intell..inte..clever (well it is my award show) Mr John *****. I will be accepting this award on his behalf because i'am him and there's no way i'm paying to send something to myself.....scared......i'am.
[Edited to remove personal information]