Thoughts of a grandchild


#1
hello all. my gran was diagnosed a few weeks ago. it was a shock to everyone. my family had noticed her hand tremors, but we assumed it was part of old age.

Iv been doing some reading itno parkinsons over the past few days, and have been reading sections for both sufferers and carers. but to be honest, i cant find anything suitable to anythign other than the two.

I love my grandmother to bits. we were close when i was a child, but i ahve not seen her as much since my teens. Im not sure now how to act around her. I have only seen her once since her diagnosis, and that was only briefly. i think she is ashamed of letting people see her condition. She is avoiding her own children, let alone us grandkids. i think i can understand the notion of not wanting the people i love to watch me deteriorate.


Mum said she watched her "shuffling up the road" the other day. she was devistated when gran told her the news, and i have had to comfort her a great deal. i think given time, after it has all sunk in and gran has seen the specialist, then us family will get over it and get stuck into practical mode. untill then, all we can do is let gran know we are here for her and let it sink in for her too.

but i cant help but wonder what help i can be? i dont have that close relationship with gran anymore so i dont want to crawl out of the woodwork and appear hypocritical. i feel i could offer more on a practical level. I am a senior care assistant for the elderly so i feel i could be a great help to her around the home. i feel i could help her to help herself, without making her feel suffocated and self concious (which i fear my mum and uncles might do.) but then again, i also doubt she would feel comfortable hvaing her grandson helping her get dressed etc as it progresses.


i just feel stuck. i want to help, so much. but i feel like too much of an outsider to interfear too much.

thanks for listening

#2
Hello and welcome to the forum pandaeyes

Hard to tell you how to handle the present situation with your Grandmother. I take it you live a fair bit away from her. Your obviously love your Grandmother to bits otherwis you would not have written what you did and that to me is a wonderful quality for a young man now a days to have.

Can I suggest you write her a newsy letter about yourself and maybe talk about times when you were young and in her company. No body seems to write a letter any more and I bet your Grandmother would love a special letter from you. She may even open up to you in a reply, you never know.

I wish you all the very best and hope it all works out for veryone in your family.

Radz x

#3
Just remember she is still the same person you loved before, ssee her and not the parkies.
Depending on where you both live, is it possible to call in on your way somewhere else, so you don't pressure her but you keep tabs on how she really is. If that's not practical for you, is there anyone else in the family who can?
It's not only a matter of keeping in close contact with her, but ALL your family need to close ranks, keep in touch and swap info about how she is doing.
Sorry didn't mean to rant and lecture. You obviously care about her.