Unable to engage


#1
I was diagnosed around 8 years ago I came to terms quite quickly but one of the biggest problems I have is engaging in a conversation this is causing problems in my relationship I try to explain that there is nothing wrong but I cannot help felling like this,I am not like this all the time but when I am ,I can not snap out of it, I dont seam to be able talk to other people in a social envriment to ,I was never like this before,I would be grateful if anyone fells like this. Its not that i'm not happy and like this all the time.

#2
:smile:
Welcome John B, I went through exactly the same feelings ,PD will dominate if you allow it in, I know you wont want to talk and probably feel like just curling up in a ball and let the world pass you by, are there any PD groups nearby, its good to meet others in the same situation,and I found my self recovering my self confidence when I joined a small team near my home, and there is always this Forum
where you will always be welcome.
Kindest Regards Fedex:grin:

#3
John

I know what you are talking about I think. I am three years diagnosed nearly and have
the usual symptoms of slowness/stiffness/unsteadiness plus fatigue and a shake.

All this makes me anxious as you will understand probably. I have become increasingly aware of the difficulty I have in relaxing or sitting down in a chair... Basically finding a comfortable position.... I tend to be more relaxed when I engaged in light activity.... Like walking in the countryside for example.

At the same time I'm aware that socially I'm finding it very difficult to engage
in conversations, in one-to-one situations particularly. Before PD I sometimes feel awkward socially but nothing like this.. I find I'm so conscious of my discomfort
that I find it hard to relax physically and mentally enough to be in the moment
in a conversational situation.... I.e. I'm thinking about the pain in my arm or
discomfort in my body and it's hard to let conversation flow as it would do naturally
otherwise... You tend to start searching around in your head for things to talk about
... Not allowing your natural interest to surface but trying to force things
instead... Which basically doesn't work socially speaking.... Because were having
a hard time .... It becomes difficult to find what I call your"MOJO" .... I.e. enjoy life and enjoyment of social and relational situations.

That's my definition of the problem anyway.

I talk a lot to my therapist about this sort of thing.... And I do find that finding a good counsellor helps a lot..... I also think it helps if people know about the condition and you feel okay talking about it to them from time to time . If you can let out some of your frustrations to a counsellor then you can be more focused
in what you tell friends.... Some can handle it and some can't to greater and lesser degrees and you have to apply judgement in what you say.... But a counsellor
can help you see the wood for the trees.

I find it helps me if I can find things that I enjoy doing… I used to play guitar a lot
and now I'm not so good.... But I keep going and I'm switching to harmonica, tin whistle and singing more.... I.e. things I can still achieve on some level...... I also do Spanish with the oU.... So what I'm trying to say is that if you find you can enjoy yourself some of the time and maintain some enthusiasm for life if somewhat modified then it spills over into your relationships and into your conversation
I think. What you get into is unique to every single person but I think it's important to try and find things you can still do.....

Relationships of course are fundamental ... And I think it's hard for people with ailments to engage normally we get tired and dispirited at times… And I assume
that we are less attractive to other people in many ways.... For example with my dad
I find it difficult to be bouncy bushy tailed/bright eyed son I used to imagine I was
... And he's bound to look at me sometimes, see the illness and be depressed.... Whereas my brothers can still play that role enthusiastically. Some relationships
will struggle but others hopefully have a depth to them that will keep you going...
I don't fully have the answer to this one but we can only do our best ! Some people
will understand others won't or can't.. I think.


Anyway John just thought I'd let you know that you're not the only one who is having difficulties inter-personally.... I think it's all part of the PD deal...

Andy )ojalahey)
---------------