While working with young adults who had Cerebral Palsy I had occasion to take a mini bus load of clients into Lancaster city center. I drove and a young lady called Marie was in the back to look after the passsengers. She was the height of six penneth of copper and one of the nicest people I have ever had occassion to meet, despite about a 30 year age gap. Age nor disability never entered this young ladies thinking. She may have been petite, but she was a giant in many ways.
We took our young adults shopping, some in wheelchairs and some of the more ambulant ones walking.
We were in a well known chemist shop buying some make up for one young lady. We reached the check out. The till opertaor spoke to Marie rather than the young lady buying the cosmetics. (Cerebral Palsy affects speach in some cases). Marie very politely and quietly asked the assistant to address her remarks to the customer and not her. The operator ignored this despite the young lady being able, with great effort, to make herself understood.
Marie exploded. I stood back in awe. She let the assistant know just how important it was for the young lady to be independant, then added, 'if you don't comply I shall advise my client to shop elsewhere and you can put this lot back'. She was not rude, but she was very emphatic.
The assistant went red and someone in the que shouted out 'well said lass'. I was so proud of her. It embodied everything Beaumont College, where we worked, stood for.
So don't feel helpless, don't get mad, get even. Have some stock in trade phrases ready i.e. Have you no compassion......Don't you realise........How would you like it if.....etc.
I shake, I ache, I can't bend down or stand for long periods of time, I sweat profusely, I walk like I'm in a rock and roll contest some days. My friends don't care. I just hope someone like you or Marie is around if I end up in a similar circumstance to your Grandad.
Don't be rude, but definately be bold. Marie taught me that in the space of ten seconds.
Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness. We used to be young fit strong young men, we didn't ask to be blighted in this way. Making a small allowance for our present condition will not kill anyone.
Best regards to your Grandad and well done you for looking after him.