Hi Seans Dad I seems your wife might be suffering from delirium from the UTI ?? Or does she have a kidney infection rather than UTI worth asking as she doesnt seem to have responded to meds. I have expereinced this following my husbands 6 month stay in hospital following complex hip surgery. It is really distressing and I did have the whole “hotel” scenario She obviously needs to stay in hospital for the moment and then might well be eligible for chc funding for her care. Ask the hospital about this, it should be something that the hospital should address and she should not be discharged without assessment. Given your situation, unless there is a massive improvement it is not realistic to expect her to be cared for at home so put this worry to one side at the moment.
My husband is cared for at home with 24/7 care . He has his own annexe and sitting room with further room for live in carers who change now every 2/3 days. Recently the quality of care substantially dropped and I felt unable to cope. I was looking at specialised Brain injury units for him specialising in neuro conditions, The care homes although beautiful to look at did not have the quality of staff which is critical to his well being. I had a lot of professional input from medically qualified friends and family. Fortunately following talks with the specialist care agency we use we now have professionally experienced carers and things have changed substantially.
If you can try to take things one day at a time and see how things unfold. She may well improve. Make a conscious effort to look after yourself and your boys and try to maintain a sense of normality in the home. Your wife is safe and being cared for. Your priority is to look after yourself and your mental health to give you the strength to deal with whatever comes.
I more than many understand the conflicting emotions you will be experiencing. Message me if you feel you need more input and don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Much lovex