Battle briefing

Hi all,

I’d like to reintroduce myself as I have not contributed to the Forum for a year.

I’m not far off my 79th birthday. I had this guy called Parkinson call six years ago. He's well known as a persistent entity and in spite of several massive brawls, he wouldn’t go away. So I let him in, then  plotted devious ways of getting rid of him and kick the bastard out. He invariably returned.

So I sought assistance and with the advice of a local Neurologist, who knew the guy well, I started secretly giving him 62.5 mg of Madopar twice daily. At first it bashed him a bit but gradually, as predicted, this Parkinson chap became more persistent. We then fought back with higher doses as his attacks became more sustained.

I called in more troops who recommended various chemical weapons called agonists which I administered as prescribed. Some of them seemed to hold him back briefly but didn’t stop his invasion. In fact in most cases they either boosted the sod’s armoury or even worse joined forces with him to give me other problems.

I’m now poisoning him with 187.5 mg of Madopar five times a day plus 250 mg of Madopar CR at night. Six months ago I brought in additional advisers, who know Parkinson well, One new weapon they have recommended is called Safinamide. It’s expensive and has not really proved effective but   I’m (as my new War Minister suggests) persisting with it for a while, but here on the front line it’s not really stopping the swine. In fact like the agonists the enemy might be using the drug to fight back by bashing me with headaches, eye ache and some increase of distonia.

Parkinson won’t stop the attack or his devious, below the belt methods of fighting. Mentally I am superior to him but he knows all the tricks  of warfare and bombards me with massive switch-offs that often immobilise me, severe, bursts of painful distonia, severe sluggishness (bradykinesia) and akinesia, which makes me shuffle forward on my toes

He has even resorted to new warfare (strictly against the Geneva convention) by inflicting niggles such as making my legs burn, filling my mouth with saliva so I dribble, forcing me to the toilet more often and making my tongue stick out

There is no way I am going to give in and he realises that, but his merciless pursuit is gradually wearing me down. I refuse however to let the enemy take away my mental capacity or my cognitive skills and so far he has failed miserably in this quest.

I hope this field report is useful and informative to all my fellow front line fighters?

Excuse the mild expletives but they help emphasise the anger I sometimes feel about him.


We have much hope when new drugs come along  Sarfinamide was a new avenue we could go down, with all your going through it seems you need another avenue Jules to get back on track

Jules........enjoyed reading your approach to Parkinson's. If we let him get on top of us, then we're doomed. Onwards and upwards, is the way. Although it's hard to stay positive sometimes, when you know there are better drugs out there, but too expensive for the likes of us!!


Pvt Parky reporting for duty Sir. Yes Sir putting the bayonet through my foot was not a good idea Sir...........medic I bring terrible jokes, positive attitude and occasional offensive comments (apologies in advance for future ones) to battle Sir and rations of 14 mg Requip XL, 1 mg Azilect and 1.5mg of clonzemapan. Also wife say's i need to be home for 18.00hrs for tea Sir or dog is getting it Sir, yes Sir i'll shut up Sir.

Medical status: Mobile for combat and fighting daily against protruding tongue and drooling when concentrating (which is a battle itself). Stiff (careful) joints and tight muscles been counteracted by rations. Various other battle ailments and fatigue but subject ready for combat. Recommendations are: See PDNurse 27/03/17 at 13.15 for review and Physiotherapist 28/03/17 at 13.00hrs for advanced warfare techniques. Awaiting confirmation for Psychoanalysis check (priority:V.Urgent). Chief Medical Officer Dr Bones.

Pvt Parky, JP to friends going on first reconnaissance mission Sir. Over and Out

Hey Jules, that is fighting talk and sounds like you are advancing nicely and holding up your own in the battle with the enemy. A pleasure to meet you Sir and look forward to reading your battle status. I also have Madopar in my corner taking care of things nicely. Take care fellow fighter Joanie


Another soldier reporting for duty, with the utmost respect.

New in service , not yet as used to battle as you sir , but dug in the trenches by your side.

Keep fighting, but don't forget a bit of well deserved R & R  keeps us all going.




Loving the posts. Ooops, sorry sir, cadet in training. Not completed course yet but intend to come through with flying colours!

pvt parky reporting back sir. blasted parkies still on attack sir but saw a quiet zone over at parkyD ave.and having fun sir, yes sir fun sir bloody fun.

Good Evening,

My driver took me away from the front for a few hours and when I got back I see all these wonderful rallying calls from the trenches.

Thanks Twinks and SA for your encouraging words. Nice to hear from you again. Thanks to you as well Joanie. Yes it is a battle and we are all on the front line.

Private JohnyParky, I've just heard from our Field Officer that you are promoted to Lance Corporal. This means you can "go over the top" with your men but must wait for the whistle. Your fighting drug regime is certainly interesting and so different to mine.

TeeHee and DivineR, sounds like you will be good troopers and ready for the long fight.

And that's what it's all about, fighting the enemy Parkison, in all his guises.

You can never go on Leave but can take R and R but be vigilant. So  I'm off duty tomorrow. Inspecting troops in Norfolk.I'm hoping Parkinson won't mount any attacks; unlikely, but I'll be ready for the bastard.




 Sgt Jules77 Sir - in barracks awaiting extra reports on forthcoming battles. Will fight alongside all others in trying to beat the enemy, you can count on me.

I would like to commend you Sgt Jules77 on a well written report we can all act upon


Good morning Sir and thank you for promotion to Lance Corporal, Sir. When you said over the top with my men!! Sir are you referring to the Arm Wrestling film with Sylvester Stalllone, no into battle when the whistle blows Sir. What pea Sir.

Well Sir the troops, god bless em will be or getting ready to fight our own battles as a collective unit. As you say the enemy is a crafty Bastard and has a multitude of strategies to attack us. Going to start some new assaults and counter measures myself today Sir. Neglected to use the good old fashioned diet and exercise plans as know the body needs to be as strong as possible in the fight and the meds on the front line need some support Sir.

Hoping to utilise these super foods and working all of body with some assault course basic training to start using the unused muscles Sir. It's a long hard advance this PD battle but one that has to be fought and can tell you this Sir not once from the troops have I heard words Give Up. A fly in your eye Sir get you Sir. Will wipe my nose and will not use sleeve on uniform again Sir.

Lance Corporal JP


Battle briefing.

Good afternoon fellow soldiers,

Sorry for  slight delay in replying. My driver and First in Commanding Officer, of 54 years,was going to take me out yesterday away from the front line. Parkinson, however had other ideas and attacked at breakfast leaving me unarmed and in severe pain for two hours. So we stayed at headquarters. I fought hard and by noon felt able to carry out some outstanding civilian duties my first assignment being in the garden. I was just about to start when he attacked again. This time as the attack was milder, I pulled out extra arms (two walking sticks) and rather gingerly attempted assigned duties.It worked and I completed the task. Chuffed to bits, I stuck two fingers up at him and continued working.
In the evening He had another go, as usual very suddenly. I felt lousy but an unlikely ally came to the rescue - Tina Turner. I watched her in a great concert from Holland (2009) and  oh boy he didn’t like that at all.

So fellow troopers I make a serious point here. Will power can sometimes help us in the battle. Rousing music or concerts can knock him back as well. Clearly the chemicals we administer must be the main weapon. Any suggestions on other alternative weapons would be welcomed.

From field reports, we know you to be a first class soldier and know you have been alongside, on the front line, us as we fight this long battle.

Lane Corporal JohnnyParky,
Have read your report on joining the front line, A soldier of meritable qualities and a fighter, clearly officer material, albeit a bit on the youthful side. Your Commanding Officer is clearly a great help. Like all Officers they can tend to be a bit fussy about trivia. My CO has a thing about not putting the toilet seat down. Doesn’t like me dribbling or my tongue out so reminds mw forcibly, which is no bad thing

Communications are essential and a weekly report would be welcome

Keep fighting, I draw my inspiration from the likes of Betty Blue, Gus and many more brave troops, who have taken the fight right to the centre of action.


Welcome back Sir and good to read your post and about your victories in the parkies ambushes. A quick status update: Operations Laughter & Music, but not Tina Turner, hope not compulsory Sir, have helped a lot over this long campaign so far and hoping by combining these with operations Diet & Exercise hope to get a few more miles out of this body yet. It may not be a successful mission but will boost my moral to keep marching on when the advance gets pinned down. So recommend watching some comedy Sir.

L.C. JohnnyParky over and out.

Will continue with weekly updates. Me an Officer, think I may have had a few to many knocks to the head from other of lives campaigns as not the most, shall we say sensible Sir.


I have to report a show of cowardice ,on the front line today and failed in my duty.  I have since reflected on my actions and hope you can still consider that I am worthy of being a trooper.

I read your report and without brown nosing sir ,  considered we must fight for our future.  I found inspiration  in the content . If you sir, can still rise above what you face everyday coming out guns a blazing, the least I can do is stop bleating about the past.  

My immediate chain of command is LCpl JohnnyParky  to whom I report for duty tomorrow.

I have to run round the block twice and paint all the stones white, and clean the steamy Windows Warrant Officer Turner left,  if I do not bleat like a sheep I get to have a mug of tea and a choccy biccy.

I hope you are able to endorse my stay and approve punishment as adequate.


Tpr TeeHee






to Officer Jules77 stop. trooper TH stop suggest discarding punishment for acts above the call of duty stop Cadte DR stop recommend promotion to full pvt status for rescuing fallen comrade with no consideration for own safety stop advise both to be made fully fledged pvt's Sir stop L.C JP over & out stop.

Good afternoon fellow fighters,

Cannot accept there is any cowardice trooper. Controlled bleating is both acceptable and unavoidable. Study the protocol, the section on "acceptable complaining". Full pvt status granted. Your LC will have a word with you on this matter. On your part could you enlighten him on the steamy side of the Tina Turner backing dancers?

All fighters

Have spent since 3 am this morning in A and E. Fell over whilst heading for the ablutions, in the dark. As I fell I caught my back on a metal drawer knob, blood everywhere. My CO carried out a temporary dressing to a gaping wound  and drove me to hospital. Parkinson  attacked hard with the akynesia weapon while we were patiently waiting to see a doctor but failed miserably.

Now back on front line the proud owner of 10 stitches and a very sore back.

Signing off for a few days, need the rest. 

Keep fighting.

Joking apart,  I really hope you are ok and get an opportunity to recuperate fully and the enemy agrees to a cease fire , if only for a few hours. It seems to me , you have chosen your wife wisely she is "simply the best, and better than all the rest".

Love to you both xx


Jules Sir, so sorry to hear about your accident. Sounds as even when faced with this obstacle, you continued the fight like the trooper that you are. Take rest and consider the fort held until your return. Pvt Joanie



Jules77 - Hoping your wounds soon heal and you are back sooner than you think with that little bit of TLC, and fighting fit again.

Pvt Sheila

Good morning Sir and hope your recovering well and look forward to seeing you take Command once more. Had routine medical check and parky has made a advancement to my right side sir. Only got a foot hold at moment but strengthened resolve to fight harder. Also found out he has called in allies himself and found i'm in a bit of a side skirmish with asthma who may make an invasion but all in all advancing well.

May have to call in reenforcements myself by way off new rations called lev-dopa sir but to see chief medical Officer end of month. Advance War Techniques at physio went well and have some new surprise weapons to confront the crafty bastard (will not over use it ,,,,try not to), he's in for a shock. That's really all for me Sir.

The troops are doing well of course, a cheeky bunch if you ask me but keeps moral up and going. heard there's a posting knees up at the young side of ParkyD thread anyone welcome and think it's Saturday. Would be delighted if you could attend Sir if your recovered enough.

LC JP over and out

P.S. Saw said Tina Turner tour and see what you mean Sir no volume needed.