Think I'll save up and go to Waitrose, may be a better class of Sales Assistant there.
Hi Andiji
How's the shopping going lately??
Amy
How's the shopping going lately??
Amy
I think we got off the point of this theme, amusing that it is, I haven't been doing too much shopping.
Maddie and I have reached the end, I tried to work within the parameters she requires, however, it is not for me, it's like a set of rules, not a relationship anymore. This is a great shame, as I will miss her.
Maddie and I have reached the end, I tried to work within the parameters she requires, however, it is not for me, it's like a set of rules, not a relationship anymore. This is a great shame, as I will miss her.
I am very sorry to hear that andij is there no way you can sort things out?
Amy
Amy
Hi Andyij,
I am sorry to hear that your relationship with maddie has come to an end - it can be a sad time to think that someone you loved will no longer be in your life- BUT I think this is the best decision for you both - it was obvious to the outsider looking in that things were going downhill - You will meet someone that is right for you - Be happy
Tulip
I am sorry to hear that your relationship with maddie has come to an end - it can be a sad time to think that someone you loved will no longer be in your life- BUT I think this is the best decision for you both - it was obvious to the outsider looking in that things were going downhill - You will meet someone that is right for you - Be happy
Tulip
Amy & Tulip
Thank you both for your kind words.
I hate to say "never say never", but I have no desire to meet anyone else, and Maddie feels the same, I hope she doesn't mind me speaking on her behalf. We have both had enough previous relationships, this no way reflects badly on either of us, but nothing previously has comre anywhere close to the affection we hold for each other. I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, but it is true, and for both of us it has been totally unexpected. This makes it very difficult to move on, as ideally we would be together, we are kind of stuck in the ether of life, as there is no proper end, or closure, for either of us.
I have done alot of speaking on Maddie's behalf here, she is the one who started the whole thread of this dialogue, I would really like her to read this and explain how she feels for herself.
Thank you both for your kind words.
I hate to say "never say never", but I have no desire to meet anyone else, and Maddie feels the same, I hope she doesn't mind me speaking on her behalf. We have both had enough previous relationships, this no way reflects badly on either of us, but nothing previously has comre anywhere close to the affection we hold for each other. I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, but it is true, and for both of us it has been totally unexpected. This makes it very difficult to move on, as ideally we would be together, we are kind of stuck in the ether of life, as there is no proper end, or closure, for either of us.
I have done alot of speaking on Maddie's behalf here, she is the one who started the whole thread of this dialogue, I would really like her to read this and explain how she feels for herself.
Amy & Tulip
Thank you both for your kind words.
I hate to say "never say never", but I have no desire to meet anyone else, and Maddie feels the same, I hope she doesn't mind me speaking on her behalf. We have both had enough previous relationships, this no way reflects badly on either of us, but nothing previously has comre anywhere close to the affection we hold for each other. I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, but it is true, and for both of us it has been totally unexpected. This makes it very difficult to move on, as ideally we would be together, we are kind of stuck in the ether of life, as there is no proper end, or closure, for either of us.
I have done alot of speaking on Maddie's behalf here, she is the one who started the whole thread of this dialogue, I would really like her to read this and explain how she feels for herself.
Thank you both for your kind words.
I hate to say "never say never", but I have no desire to meet anyone else, and Maddie feels the same, I hope she doesn't mind me speaking on her behalf. We have both had enough previous relationships, this no way reflects badly on either of us, but nothing previously has comre anywhere close to the affection we hold for each other. I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, but it is true, and for both of us it has been totally unexpected. This makes it very difficult to move on, as ideally we would be together, we are kind of stuck in the ether of life, as there is no proper end, or closure, for either of us.
I have done alot of speaking on Maddie's behalf here, she is the one who started the whole thread of this dialogue, I would really like her to read this and explain how she feels for herself.
Hi Andy.
I'm really sorry to hear that you and Maddie have decided to "call time" on your relationship. I have been following your story with interest and I think it's really brave of you to reveal such personal issues on here.
I know how you feel. I myself have been in an on/off relationship with someone for the past 2 years (well, for most of the first year we were in a "proper" relationship with the hope of a future, then we split up because it wasn't working out, and we have spent the past year trying to move on but always ending up back together). We have had so many long nights full of tears, recriminations and anguish.....
I am the one with PD but he also has a "condition", although for us neither of these have really been an issue. If anything, our respective conditions have held us together as we both understand what it is like for each other.
We have recently decided that, although we still love each other, we definitely have no future together, so we have ended our relationship for good, although we are hoping to remain friends if possible. We have talked about the possibility of one or both of us meeting and having relationships with other people....in theory, we both want this and we both want each other to be happy, but I for one know that i will find it extremely difficult to handle if he does meet someone else.
However, I know that I must move on if I am to have any kind of future. I am only 47 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life hankering after someone/something that I know I can never have. So I am determined to be brave and get on with my life, and when the time is right, if it's meant to be, I hope I will find my soulmate.
I know how much you are hurting right now, and it feels like you will never get over Maddie, but in time you will be happy again, and maybe you too will meet someone who is right for you. And when you do, it won't be such hard work. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway!
Wishing you all the best for the future.
Take care.
Kathy
I'm really sorry to hear that you and Maddie have decided to "call time" on your relationship. I have been following your story with interest and I think it's really brave of you to reveal such personal issues on here.
I know how you feel. I myself have been in an on/off relationship with someone for the past 2 years (well, for most of the first year we were in a "proper" relationship with the hope of a future, then we split up because it wasn't working out, and we have spent the past year trying to move on but always ending up back together). We have had so many long nights full of tears, recriminations and anguish.....
I am the one with PD but he also has a "condition", although for us neither of these have really been an issue. If anything, our respective conditions have held us together as we both understand what it is like for each other.
We have recently decided that, although we still love each other, we definitely have no future together, so we have ended our relationship for good, although we are hoping to remain friends if possible. We have talked about the possibility of one or both of us meeting and having relationships with other people....in theory, we both want this and we both want each other to be happy, but I for one know that i will find it extremely difficult to handle if he does meet someone else.
However, I know that I must move on if I am to have any kind of future. I am only 47 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life hankering after someone/something that I know I can never have. So I am determined to be brave and get on with my life, and when the time is right, if it's meant to be, I hope I will find my soulmate.
I know how much you are hurting right now, and it feels like you will never get over Maddie, but in time you will be happy again, and maybe you too will meet someone who is right for you. And when you do, it won't be such hard work. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway!
Wishing you all the best for the future.
Take care.
Kathy
Hello all, I too have been following this thread and have felt so sad for the people involved. It's hard enough coping with the condition but when one is going through a rough time within a relationship things must be so hard. As you all know stress usually exasperates PD so you all must feel awful.
When I read through the stories that we all have about how PD effects every part of our lives, it's humbling to see how strong we can be and how kind we can be to others too.
May we always stick together and keep each other afloat!!
Glenchass
When I read through the stories that we all have about how PD effects every part of our lives, it's humbling to see how strong we can be and how kind we can be to others too.
May we always stick together and keep each other afloat!!
Glenchass
1 Like
Well said, GC
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Hello to all, just to update you on what happened;
After all this time, it has become abundantly clear that Maddie suffers with Narcissic Personality Disorder ( NPD ), coupled with depression. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have had to deal with this in a previous relationship, in a different form. During our time together, Maddie has projected all her depressive symptoms on to me I.e. bi-polarism, paranoia, low-esteem, continuous low mood etc. Coupled with NPD, Maddie has cleverly manipulated all sorts of situations to her advantage, then shamelessly blamed my Parkinson's mindset and medication to show her in a better light to people around her. Maddie sees herself as a caring person, unfortunately, she is completely deluded in this respect, she has used this forum to validate the view she has of herself. There are many examples of her bizarre behaviour that I could use so that you could see how these people operate. Don't get me wrong, at times, I have completely "flipped" in response to some of her actions, and this would have been down to my PD condition, and the medications. She knew this in advance and managed to convince me that I needed help, not her. I became an apologist for all sorts of things that were not my fault. You could read this and quite easily jump to the conclusion that I am still suffering from paranoia etc. However, through extensive counselling it is proven that I do not suffer with any of these symptoms. Maddie's depression is much better now, which is good, but because of her NPD she no longer has any use, or need for me, and is moving forward quite determinedly. At least I am fully aware of how I have been used and manipulated, so I can move forward without her, and not feel sad about it.
After all this time, it has become abundantly clear that Maddie suffers with Narcissic Personality Disorder ( NPD ), coupled with depression. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have had to deal with this in a previous relationship, in a different form. During our time together, Maddie has projected all her depressive symptoms on to me I.e. bi-polarism, paranoia, low-esteem, continuous low mood etc. Coupled with NPD, Maddie has cleverly manipulated all sorts of situations to her advantage, then shamelessly blamed my Parkinson's mindset and medication to show her in a better light to people around her. Maddie sees herself as a caring person, unfortunately, she is completely deluded in this respect, she has used this forum to validate the view she has of herself. There are many examples of her bizarre behaviour that I could use so that you could see how these people operate. Don't get me wrong, at times, I have completely "flipped" in response to some of her actions, and this would have been down to my PD condition, and the medications. She knew this in advance and managed to convince me that I needed help, not her. I became an apologist for all sorts of things that were not my fault. You could read this and quite easily jump to the conclusion that I am still suffering from paranoia etc. However, through extensive counselling it is proven that I do not suffer with any of these symptoms. Maddie's depression is much better now, which is good, but because of her NPD she no longer has any use, or need for me, and is moving forward quite determinedly. At least I am fully aware of how I have been used and manipulated, so I can move forward without her, and not feel sad about it.
Hi Andy.
I have sent you a private message.
Kathy x
I have sent you a private message.
Kathy x
The guidelines for the Carers, friends and family forum are:
An area for those who are close to, live with, and/or care for a person with Parkinson's to share experiences and find mutual support.
How horrid to decide to seek help from a forum with these objectives, and then find that you yourself would be vulnerable to all sorts of accusations and character assassination from their PwP.
It may be hard for a PwP to understand that such an outlet is needed by the carer/partner, but it is wise to accept it, and let them use the forum in peace, knowing that it is anonymous.
I think this final attack on MaddieRaz, who started a long and helpful discussion for several other people, almost makes a mockery of the point of having a forum.
An area for those who are close to, live with, and/or care for a person with Parkinson's to share experiences and find mutual support.
How horrid to decide to seek help from a forum with these objectives, and then find that you yourself would be vulnerable to all sorts of accusations and character assassination from their PwP.
It may be hard for a PwP to understand that such an outlet is needed by the carer/partner, but it is wise to accept it, and let them use the forum in peace, knowing that it is anonymous.
I think this final attack on MaddieRaz, who started a long and helpful discussion for several other people, almost makes a mockery of the point of having a forum.
I completely agree with you Surrey Dreamer.
This is my final message. It was quite wrong of me to attack maddie so openly. Whether it is the medication, the condition, or me just being an idiot, I don't know. Maddie gave me hope when I needed it, and I repaid it most unkindly. Maddie is none of those things.
Sorry, this is my final message;
I wrote a short-story, "A Relationship Without Hope",by Andrew.I.Johnson, and I dedicated it to Maddie. It is available to borrow in the Amazon Kindle library. This is not an attempt to sell my book, as I will hardly become a millionaire on the royalties, it is a tribute to Maddie. The setting is fictitious, but the events are entirely true.
I wrote a short-story, "A Relationship Without Hope",by Andrew.I.Johnson, and I dedicated it to Maddie. It is available to borrow in the Amazon Kindle library. This is not an attempt to sell my book, as I will hardly become a millionaire on the royalties, it is a tribute to Maddie. The setting is fictitious, but the events are entirely true.
Hello Commiting, I really feel sorry for your predicament, I have caused much damage to my 33yrs of marriage OCD is horrific and I have no doubt it will have
destroyed many relationships It almost wrecked my marriage ,the changes in my personality meant I simply was not the person my wife married in 1983, consequently she began to reject me, fortunately our bond was strong and we came through the worst and survived, but methinks we are not out of the woods yet and we are still hanging in there. However after reading your post I feel I can only
suggest that committing to this relationship would only bring you both down, if you have any doubts at all, then it would be a mistake to carry on, I know from my own battle of attrition its a long hard road.
I wish you well Regards Fed
destroyed many relationships It almost wrecked my marriage ,the changes in my personality meant I simply was not the person my wife married in 1983, consequently she began to reject me, fortunately our bond was strong and we came through the worst and survived, but methinks we are not out of the woods yet and we are still hanging in there. However after reading your post I feel I can only
suggest that committing to this relationship would only bring you both down, if you have any doubts at all, then it would be a mistake to carry on, I know from my own battle of attrition its a long hard road.
I wish you well Regards Fed
Sorry, I haven't logged in for a while.
Thanks for your message Fed.
It is my own fault for starting the relationship when I knew what problems my long-term health consequences would cause. Unfortunately, relationships breakdown for so many different reasons. Hopefully, you are still surviving...
I know this post is quite old i met my husband 4 years ago and he told me he had parkinsons but we had a good time and i enjoyed being with him we have been married for 3 months and I dont think i have the strength to cope the mood swings are really bad and he is constantly telling me i need help and i have a problem i sit crying all the time he to was put on ropinirole and he gambled everything we had and we got through that i have been called every name possible and he doesnt seem to care im upset he just says im not all there and need help
It breaks my heart that people are still suffering like this as a result of these wretched drugs.
As we have seen over the last 10 years so many lives are ruined by the gambling and hypersexuality caused by DAs.
Try to talk to your Parkinsons Nurse ASAP and get help.
A complete change of drug willl be hard but you might well get your husband back.
Don't accept this.
Fight!
Love
GG