I am wanting to make sense of a horric experience after I was admitted to an elderly people’s unit in a local community hospital after a minor fall. Initially, I was admitted so that physiotherapists could observe and find ways to improve my walking. But shortly after admission I became delirious and drifted in and out of consciousness for several weeks. I was aware that I became aggressive, physically and verbally abusive - behaviour which shocked and bewildered medical staff, Carers, other patients and, especially my family who were not only extremely worried, but ashamed. But although my behaviour seemed irrational to others who could have no means of knowing my inner experience, my behavior was founded on a fear and terror so intense that I reverted to basic instinct. I was caught like a rat in a trap, prepared to act in any way possible to survive. Later, a professional said I had probably suffered a post—traumatic experience, related to drugs. In my case, my parkinson’s Drug routine, already unstable, was further disrupted through hospital admittance triggering onset of delirium.
I have a need for more understanding and intend to do some research. A good starting point would be to ask if others have had similar experiences and if they have had the opportunity to understand what was happening. Have they ever discussed their experience with a health professional?