My husband has Parkinson’s and some dementia. Physically he is quite able and has some short term memory issues. When out or with other people he behaves almost ‘normally’ but with me, his wife, at home he is really difficult, uncooperative and does seemingly ‘stupid’ things. When we see his consultant and he tests his walking he strides off down the corridor and the consultant says, not much wrong. At home he shuffles and bends forwards and stumbles. It almost seems deliberate. This is just one example. I am beyond frustrated. He goes to day care twice a week and they say he acts perfectly ‘normally’there. What is going on ? Surely if the dementia and physical symptoms were real he couldn’t turn it on and off as he comes into the house.
I could have written your post, sounds exactly like the situation here. My OH doesn’t have a dementia diagnosis but his cognitive issues have a huge impact on our daily lives, which he denies, and his motor symptoms are described as ‘mild’ although his balance problems are a nightmare away from clinic and he has already fractured one hip (which he insists is unrelated to the PD).
No solutions but I understand your frustrations only too well. I do suspect at times that my husband will turn out to have DLB rather than Parkinson’s but it’s only semantics. One thing I have realised though is that his walking is much better when that is all he’s concentrating on and he says he’s aware when people are watching him so no surprise he walks more normally. It’s worse if he’s trying to do other things simultaneously which make his poor coordination worse.
I doubt your husband is putting it on - I suspect the pressure to “be normal” is off when he gets home so he can relax. Hard on you though.