AHH so you can read braille!
Hope you not too hungover !!!
I used to really like Queen when I was 16/17 I saw them in concert in Glasgow.
Hope you enjoyed your night.
Morning babs only had coke so no hangover hearing OK legs feel like treestumps but it was worth it need to get out more before attempting to go to see my beloved Liverpool as my mates are looking at 3/4 days so I can do beatles tour too showing my age now hope you’re OK after your fall
Morning Tommy think I, ll be all day trying to get my legs to work glad I, ve not got fat bottom slept all night after 4 drops of cbd it, s a kind of magic (not bad for early morning)
Very good Peter
I find when I take my cdb a spoonful of sugar helps.
Regards to Mam Thomas X
I have recently found myself in a dark place which over the weeks seems to be just getting darker in fact almost black.
Yes I can put on the happy mask and hide .
I have went to the doctor recently and tried to explain
but it was a locum who knew nothing about me apart from what is on his computer screen
I believe I have many mental health problems and not all about PD although I was diagnosed two years ago and now my neurologist seems to be changing his mind an answer of some sort would maybe help I don’t know which incidentally was my last diagnosis quote.
Anyway back to the black dog as Winston Churchill once called it.
My locum asked if I had thoughts of harming myself
If I had lied and said yes I wonder if I would have received treatment instead of " try not to sleep during a day’ and then just opening the door himself and saying " good luck"
So what does one do about that .
Do I descend deeper into the darkness until harming myself is the only way my mind sees out
I always thought prevention was better than cure and maybe even cheaper but obviously not in this case
It’s just not possible to explain these problems in a ten minute consultation.
If you have took the time to read this I sincerely thank you. TOMMY
Hi Tommy it, s your sleep guru I know what you are going through I am in same place after my fall and yesterday getting another skin tear on my arm I, m here for you anytime you want some days only reading your emails and my beloved lfc keep me going hopefully good nights sleep will help us both mam sends her regards DON, T FORGET ANYTIME MY FRIEND
PETE AND MAM
Thank you Peter and Thanks to Mam .
I have no idea what is happening in my head
I do know I’m an expert at hiding it with people except Suzanne she knows me too well.
All I know is I’ve maybe got a new undiscovered illness it’s called CBA
( Can’t be arsed) TOMMY X
Hi Tommy just about to start breakfast hope you’re feeling better today be in touch later
Pete and mam
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling down recently. I know you’ll receive more supportive words of encouragement from your friends on the forum, but if you need someone to talk to, please remember that you can call us whenever you’re ready.
Do take care,
hi Tommy as I haven’t heard from you let us know your OK just took another dive no damage done other than my confidence is disappearing fast take care
Pete and mam
Hi Peter and Mam
Sorry to hear you have been falling about again (your going to have to tell Mam to stop telling you jokes until you are sat down)
Anyway I’m glad you haven’t done any damage.
I’m alright apart from what you read last night I’ve just been in a depressed state and retreated into my own world to lick my invisible wounds in other words I’m nuts.
I went to see my sister in law ( even writing that feels odd)
Because it would normally read I went to my brother’s.
It just wasn’t right without him there to have a laugh with.
So between that and a constant shaky leg which is not the typical PD beginning symptom so no explanation of why I’ve been like this for two years.
And asking a neurologist what have I got his last answer “I don’t know” .
Yet when I first saw him two years ago his report said PD .
This combination of crap just serves to send me into a downward spiral .
Sorry I’ll be depressing you now.
I’m sure I’ll be fine !!!? Tommy
Hi Tommy and all my friends
I went up to Yorkshire
Haven’t been up there fore 23 years
We spread my mum’s ashes in Whitby cathedral
I stayed on a camp site and roughed it for a few days
I just had to get away and have some thinking time
But amazingly I did sleep every night
I phoned Kay a few times a day to let her know I was alright
I traveled a fair amount and although walking isn’t my strong point I did alot of walking
The Yorkshire Moors are lovely this time of year and so much wildlife also the locals are very friendly
I might go back again soon
But there were times I didn’t have a phone signal
Got home tonight about midnight and now I can’t sleep again
I’m sorry to hear about Pete and his nose dives and glad no serious damaged
And Tommy you are not alone Bruv
I’ve had my dark days but I do pull out of them and so will you
It seems like a few of us are having a bit of a crap time at the moment.
Last night at various times I had cramps in my legs, my right arm and both hands at various times.
I have noticed some problems with swallowing and people asking me to repeat myself all of the time. Both in English and in Spanish.
I also forget words which is very frustrating.
All part of the progression of the illness I suppose.
It is taking me so long to do things now I am having to plan and prioritise to a ridiculous extent.
Shaving, getting dressed, going to the shops are becoming major events
I do know that sharing with you guys helps.
Like you without this forum I think things with me would be totally different
It’s a horrible thing to say but it’s true but
My family are supportive of me but they do not understand fully of how I feel and what it’s like and I can only wear my happy face for so long when I get a bit down
But being able to say on here how I feel and what I want and need to say helps because you all understand even though we have different degrees of this condition
Not being able to work and living on benefits is embarrassing.
I have always worked since I was 15
Now I don’t feel I’m worth much now
I WOULD LOVE SOMEONE TO OFFER ME A JOB
Something to make me feel like I’m not useless
My blood pressure isn’t getting any better
I’m now at medium to high risk of heart attack and or stroke
My anger issues are getting any better either but thankfully not at my friends or family
Sometimes i just need to get away for some thinking time
Why is it that the DWP and ESA punish us for a condition I didn’t ask for nor want
A thousand and one stupid f***ING questions for a few pence out the f***ing charity box
I would say to them let’s change places
But unlike them I’m not that f***ing
nasty and wouldn’t wish this on anyone
Sorry about my rant
I sort of feel a bit better
Hope everyone has a better day than the day before
Hi Keith glad you enjoyed the few days away know where your coming from regarding the dwp feel like they were hunting me down loads of bruises tell people I, m battered child lol ankle in a mess as I tore ligaments few times playing rugby so always a weakness there take care mate
Pete and mam
These cramps, swollen legs, stumbling about, falling over,tierdnes etc
all seem common to us that live in the slow lane. I fail to understand why I am unable to do the simple jobs anymore without everything turning to “skittles” and how can i have such a dry mouth one minute and slavering the next.
I ask myself lately What am I for?
Its no wonder our Emotions are all over the place
and those that live with us shake their heads in wonderment
Hi Keith welcome back
I don’t think that was a rant
I’ve been to these pip assessments with Soo and believe me they definitely have an agenda to demonize the disabled.
That’s why I haven’t claimed pip against the c.a .b’s advice
Because I know it would turn into some kind of wrestlemania oh and my new profile picture is my last brain scan and the" EXPERTS" say I’m ok experts eh?
I just wish the benefit people would treat me as a human and not just a name on a piece of paper
I’d rather work than claim benefits but with the shakes , shitty balance , tiredness and confrontational issues that is not likely to happen any time soon
An earned wage is better than a cheque at least I’ve worked and earned it and not given as charity
Yet if I lose my rag or they think I’m being uncooperative they stop my benefits all too easy for them and we can’t do f*** all about it
Why are we who can proof our disability treated with such contempt
When they have no f***ing idea what we go through
Fed up jumping through their hoops and being asked half arsed questions
Living under the threat of my benefits be taken away just because they can
Now that’s a rant HA HA