Hello PUK … from Shaken But Not Stirred


#1
I have just returned from my honeymoon and wanted to thank everyone who wished me well and also to those of you who were kind enough to ask me to stay ... very touching.

As you may recall ... we recently we had a very engaging discussion on a thread about Parky Positives … which led me to want to walk away from this forum (due to a perception of overwhelming negativity). Many of you posted positive comments and asked me to come back. I also received many personal emails encouraging me to come back and to continue posting … along my positive approach to Parky.

I have thought about my search for a positive Parky forum and realise I don’t need to re-create the wheel. The PUK forum is already established … all it needs (In my belief) is a heading for positive threads.

With that in mind … I have asked the moderators if they could create a new heading which can be dedicated solely to positives … but they felt a new section was not necessary … I beg to differ and judging by comments and personal emails I have received from PUK members, there are a large number of Forumites who agree that creating a new positive heading would be a great idea.

So I guess the challenge is … if you want it, you need to let PUK know by posting agreement.

I would like to start with a thread about a poem (strange huh?) which I hope will encourage more positive poems, stories, anecdotes.

I hope we can feed off one another and through positivity attain a more acceptable way of living with Parky … the alternative is feeding off negative energy which can lead to deeper depression and reliance on more medication.

A quick positive story from my recent wedding ceremony … well two in fact.

My 22 year old son was my best man. I gave him two tasks, one to hold the rings and one to hold my left hand if Parky started shaking my arm. I have a beautiful photo of the wedding party standing there and my son holding my hand … with a smile of satisfaction on his face.

The second was my wife Eileen was reading me a poem as part of her wedding vows when her hand started to shake … she said I can’t stop it … I reached over with my Parky left hand and said … Let me help and started shaking the paper even more … to which the guests burst into simultaneous laughter … My wife relaxed and for the remainder of the poem, she held the paper with one hand whilst I held her wrist with my right hand and Parky held my wrist with the shaky left … a sight to behold.

I hope you enjoy the poem and I look forward to many positive people joining me in encouraging a positive heading on PUK

A positive way to enrich each-other’s lives

I wake up in the morning
If my feet can hit the ground
I know that I am still alive
Thankful I can still get around

My arm shakes as I walk
I let it shake for all to see
I don’t try to hide Parky from the World
Educate people is a task for me

My friends and family support me
In the best way that they can
By being positive I show them strength
This makes me a better man

For when people see my strength
My positive self-esteem and drive
It makes them realise as healthy people
They can make more of their own life

When medication gets me down
Or it affects the mood I am in
It’s an opportunity to TALK with my wife
Where we are going … and where we’ve been

Communication before Parky
Was sporadic at its best
Now by necessity discussion is had
We put every feeling to the test

When pain prevents me from walking
I volunteer for the aged to read
They love the sound of my soothing voice
I get strength by fulfilling their need

The day I can no longer work
I do not feel a loss
My efforts I will turn to dreams
Where I am my own boss

I believe I’ve chosen Parky
As my personal sickness of choice
I search for what my lessons are
How to spread a message with my voice

In my heart and in my mind
I believe a cure will arrive
In time for me and my Parky friends
To watch our bodies come back to life

So join me friends and share good news
Of the journey of your life
For as we share the positives
We enrich each other’s lives

#2
Good on you!

#3
welcome back
but after a great deal of consideration I would have to vote against a positive attitude section. All other sections are about a subject which people are allowed to express different points of view. This would be a section for a point of view and other points of view would not be allowed. This is censorship and and limits our freedom to express our opinion.
Of course, since this is a negative opinion perhaps its not permitted on this thread?
my welcome back is sincere, but to misquote Voltaire
'you do not agree with what i have to say, but i will defend to the death my right to say it. anywhere.'
cheers

#4
Succinct as ever Turnip. Well said.

SBNS, I'm pleased you decided to give the forum another try. There is much I could say but ...... Have decided instead to say just five words: Pollyanna and the Glad Game.

#5
Hi Shaken etc
Glad you are back i am the positive positive bird that gave you all the positives about PD.Llife is for living and individuals have there say as long as the positive people are positive what the hell. I can understand the admin people wanting the site to stay the same as they are sure the negative people may find us positive people rub off on them can i say POSITIVE any more in this message (WELL) no i better not for upsetting some people. Please do not take offence the negative people because there are the negatives in this life and disease but whilst i can think positive then I will. WELCOME POSITIVE SHAKEN BUT NOT STIRRED YAAAH your back.:grin::wink::smile::grin::sunglasses:

#6
Welcome back, SBNS.
Glad the wedding went well. My very best wishes to you & your wife for a happy future together.

Please don't separate the positives and the negatives, as we all have our ups and our downs. On any one day , someone feeling positive may be able to help someone feeling negative .No one feels positive all of the time.And you can't really split one person into two. Let us all benefit from your overwhelmingly positive nature.Let's stay united.

#7
Hi SBNS......

I'm really pleased for you and your bride. It sounds like you had a beautiful wedding and a fantastic honeymoon. I hope that you both have a wonderful future of married bliss! :grin:

I'm with turnup on this subject though. Negating negativity, or just encouraging people to suppress the word 'negative' is a form of censorship and that is something I just can't and won't accept. Apparently, Utopia is a very fine place to be but it isn't real. Its a state of mind!

I don't think I'm a negative person or a positive person come to that. I wouldn't even presume to say that I'm a balanced person either. One thing that I do know is, I don't like to be categorised!

Maybe the best thing for everyone, with the merest hint of a negative point of view, should be to steer clear of any threads that you create?

I don't think that would be conducive to a balanced forum.

Live long and prosper

Peter :laughing:

#8
Welcome back SBNS
Thanks for sharing your fantastic wedding story and thanks for coming back to the forum.
I understand your enthusiasm about being positive. You are absolutely right that a positive mental attitude is one of the finest weapons in the fight against Parkinson's. I think we also need to help each other and for me that means being inclusive, understanding, listening & accepting.
I think there is nothing good about Parkinson's itself but lots of good research, support, poetry, friendship and positive spirit to be enjoyed.
It is good to see you back and I hope you have many enjoyable years of married life & forum participation ahead of you

EF

#9
I am not suggesting censorship ... just promoting a positive view at life in general.

If we took the fact we all have Parky in our lives and this forum was just about the day to day tribulations we all go through ... I would still encourage a positive thread heading as I believe it is through a positive attitude and state of mind that we manifest the good into our lives.

Parky just happens to be another hurdle put in front of us ... we can choose to be labelled by it or choose to be a positive human being who happens to have Parky.

It seems some of you are so determined to fight for your negative limitations that no amount of positivity will break you from that state ... and you know that what you focus on and add feeling to most you will attract to you ... I just don't understand why so many want to focus and attract negativity … maybe I am reading it wrong.

I understand to be balanced … night needs day, pain needs euphoria so that there is a point of reference ... How else do you know you are hot if you do not experience cold?

My belief (Long before Parky) is that my sub-conscious is always listening to what my conscious mind thinks, discusses and feels. The sub is tasked to manifest the things we think about ... it does not care if it is negative or positive ... it just delivers what YOU think about most ... so surely you would want to replace negative thoughts / beliefs with positive ones? Maybe not.

When I say since Parky my life has changed ... I mean since Parky I have chosen to focus on positive thoughts and ideas which will help me deal better with the disease.

I lost 10 KG by forcing myself to run.
I have written 184 poems ... four books on poetry from Parky to teen suicide to gambling addiction and surviving throat cancer.
My wife and I set up a foundation charity for orphans in Thailand (even on our honeymoon we helped the orphans).
I have offered to public speak at Parky association events in Australia to help others find there may be a new life after Parky.

I believe I am a more caring, loving, better listening person since Parky than before … does that not mean Parky has been a positive for me? I guess I just wanted to see if there were others on the forum who also felt they have had positives since Parky that they may not have had if Parky had not arrived.

Seeing many of your posts … I can say all forum members have had the positive of helping others with Parky … QUESTION: would you be on this forum helping others is you did not have Parky? That’s positive!

I will leave you with a story rather than a poem …

5 frogs found their way from the creek to a full milk churn by the barn.
They hopped on the rim and saw it was full of milk. Happily they all jumped in and started drinking.
After a while there was an empty churn and five very full and fat frogs in the bottom of the churn.
They tried to hop but were too heavy to reach the top. The clanging noise soon attracted other frogs who sat on the rim of the churn and laughed down at the fat frogs.

They said “You silly buggers, you will die in there… there is no way you can get out”.
Two frogs in the churn croaked it through fear. The other three kept trying to jump whilst being laughed at and ridiculed.

Two frogs simply gave up and just sat there in a catatonic state convinced their fate was doomed.
The last frog just kept jumping even with the negative taunts from the outside frogs.
The more he jumped the more weight he lost until eventually he jumped out of the churn and headed back to the creek.

Why did this one frog get out when the others didn’t?

He was deaf … he thought the others were encouraging and cheering him so he kept going until he succeeded.

Sometimes it pays to be a deaf frog I guess:wink:

#10
Hi SBNS,
Are you sure the deaf frog wasn't blind also.Even a deaf person can see the expression on the faces of ridicule and torment.This is what sticks in a persons mind most,even years after the bullying and persecution has ended.So basically,your tale is about how bullies got the better of 4 frogs,not lifting a finger to help them.Watching them die,laughing at them.Yet,the one frog that made it,had to almost emaciate himself in his struggle for freedom.No doubt joining the bullies in the process,to be one of the crowd.That is after putting the weight back on(which all frogs have),due to further taunts from the bullies.
There are always alternatives and not ALL are positives.
Just an observation
Titan

#11
Yes, you may well be right Shakenbutnotstirred. It all depends on the nature of one's own beast, I suppose? My beast just happens to be an argumentative b*****d.

I also know that if I gave up on my personna to accommodate others, I might just as well roll over and start pushing the daisies up right now!

Take care (hmm, who used to say that a lot round here?)and keep smiling!

Peter :laughing::laughing::laughing:

#12
:flushed:Well every one who has scored the most points to out do each others view points I have found no matter what we talk about some one starts a thread and some one has to respond with the opposite thought. GOOD thing or BAD thing life is full of twists and turns but every time some one has something to say the person with the opposite view is in there and it becomes like a dog to a bone not letting go, can we agree to not agree we have positive people and negative people and may be the threads can stop sounding as if they have to be one up on the last .Yes I am a positive person and from now on I will think very carefully if I want to respond to a thread as I fear the response. It is sad but i suppose thats life may be I am taking this wrong but i feel the undertone of some peoples threads are deliberate to charge a discussion which could be good ? but sometimes it seems more than that,so if you do not hear from me I still will look in but chose when to participate. My last comment is be careful as there is a lot of people with Parkinson's who may want to join this forum and may be put of by this as I am.
Good luck :cry:

#13
White flag ... It looks like the moderators were right ... No need for a positive section.

At least I tried ... Mommah thank you for the support you are a positive person ... keep the faith.

As for me ... I am off to the gym

What was that you said Titan?
Sorry deaf frog ... I cant lip read yet.

Mai pen rai ... Lagon (Thai for never mind ... Goodbye)

#14
:wink::confused:I don't see that inputting on a positive thread needs to be an 'opinion' that requires 'promotion' and therefore is rendered 'open to or subject to debate' - surely it's just a coping strategy which some of us are naturally drawn to, and find works for us, so we like a place to talk about it; as I've said before, it is something that I personally NEED to do to stay sane, it actively helps me. That isn't to say I do not slide with the grim realities at times but at the moment I do get something genuine out of looking at a wider picture. If someone posted on another thread regarding something that helped them, would we be jumping in and rubbishing it? I think those of us who are feeling pleased that SBNS has begun this thread, should be able to make use of it as we please, and others to respect the fact that this is beneficial for us. I do not feel it's necessary to argue about it; to defend it, even. Just do it, take part if you wish. If it seems odd to you, don't take part. I can post here, and I can post elsewhere when i want advice, or a moan, or having a bad day.
Taking part in a 'positive' thread will not mean the same thing even to those who are drawn to it. I will never be pleased or grateful about having Parkinsons. But it is my reality, and I have to find a way to cope, and sometimes being positive about some wierd aspect of it is helpful. Personally I don't think we should be out to challenge any one else's coping strategies and I find it disappointing that this is being challenged by others. We are here to support each other. We don't have to agree or understand one another. I don't want to change anyone. I just have discovered that i like having a thread that thinks a bit like I do - like I have to do, otherwise i will not cope with this disease.
I do think a purely 'positive' thread would be lovely - it will no doubt get infected with black humour, which is fine; can we give it a chance, respect each to their own, and not grace the detractors by fuelling an argument...... please don't rain on this experimental parade, it keeps me from being washed down a black hole, you see....
o

#15
there is nothing to stop someone writing a positive thread eg positive poetry, positive thought for the day etc. but the suggestion here was a positive only section. so if someone wrote a positive post on a treatment no-one would be able to write a negative reply even if the treatment was a sham. who would police if threads were positive enough? in effect the whole forum would be duplicated inside one section with anything not 'positive' enough excluded.
this kind of one-eyed rose-tinted make-believe 'positive' is the result of fear not strength. strength is assessing the situation realistically and then being positive in spite of reality, not by hoping it will go away.
lastly it is an insult to those further along the path to suggest they need to be more positive by those who have only taken a few baby steps. when you have gone that distance then you can criticise, though i doubt very much that you will.

#16
Before i say good bye which is not what i was planning to do but feel now after the last comments that i feel this forum is not for me sorry. I tried to be objective and supported SBNS thoughts of a positive section but as commented that it would segregate others and there was a need for both view points but as I look at the reply's on this site i am saddened that you are so defensive i have never seen a good thread from some of you since joining the forum and that leads me to believe this is a futile exercise because as I have said i believe there a few that no matter what is said there will be the ultimate answer from those few and this will go on and on and on. So as I don't think I will be missed I will take my naive and baby steps else were for support . Sorry to those of you that this does not apply.
With regret Mommah:flushed::rolling_eyes::disappointed:

#17
Turnip
You have such a opinionated view you do not know the grief some of us have had to endure and yes I know others have had the bad things in life thrown at them possibly more than i have and possibly you, but i do not tread the rose petalled path of life and look through rose tinted glasses and i no longer walk the baby steps as you comment i find that comment very hurtful and possibly many others will too so as this will be my last comment , please Turnip think before you comment as there are many more people relying on this site for help.
This thread may be like water running of a ducks back to you and you may shrug it of and think no loss and if so let it be i have had my say and now i am gone.

#18
Hello Mommah,

In your time with the PUK forum have you had any useful/helpful/relevant advice on matters 'Parkinson'? You know like - how meds affect people, what retirement is like,
how to cope with 'freezing' and the like. It's information like this that is most important - how others cope/find ways of coping so don't cut yourself off from that.
I have sauntered down these corridors for a long time and we are always arguing about one thing or another but when the chips are down, you would be amazed at the support you get from here.
What is the point of leaving - I've done it a few times but always return.
I perhaps ignore those people responsible for my departure but don't suppose they even notice!

Short break for medi!

Now, this current argument seems a bit weird to me. If a person can be positive all the time - they haven't got the brand of Parkinson's that I have.When I have the trouble I am having at this precise moment, I'm surprised I can even type this message. But I felt it was important to contact you.

Go or stay? The former seems to be cutting your nose off etc. Stay and continue to make friends and ignore the other sort (rivals?)

This is written with only good intentions - I hope you will reconsider.

Lin
xx

#19
I think I'll stick to poetry. I'm thinking my message to mommah sounded pompous.
Lin

#20
May I suggest

(((a group hug)))