If this was a deal Azzy, I'd take it back and complain. We can only grin and bear it.
It will not rule my life, I hope it never does. I do get frustrated, which is why I'm on here. If the rest of you can smile I am not going to let the side down.
I hope you stick around in what ever capacity you feel able.
I met my now good friends on here a while ago and they all prove one thing..........together we are far stronger.
Morph
Morph, you also prove repeatedly that with HUMOUR we are far stronger. Your posts do wonders for many, I'm sure. Thanks!
J
Like Legion you are many!
Thank you for the kind comment J.
If I didn't have a laugh, life really wouldn't be tollerable. I rely on you all to provide me with inspiration and spark my imagination. It is very much a two way street J.
The more serious posts provide strength and information.
Morph xxx
J........unless my memory has completely deserted me........you live in the land downunder (where women glow and men plunder).
I have a very good friend down there who over the years has sent me amazing photos, fascinating facts and general information. When I opened my mail he had sent this, which I found factually amusing, you might enjoy the read.......
“Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of
the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because
of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an
enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs
which plunge into the girting sea Geologists assure us that this is
simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great
Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more
frightening theory but they can't spell either.
The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the
place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as
continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be
divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true
that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9
of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most
poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are few
snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all.
But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be
careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet
seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is
very useful for this task.
The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants -
A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived
in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of
them died. The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of
nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They
settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange
stories.
Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged
people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing
to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food,
and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It
is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider
themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since
they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilized culture
they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being
left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick.
Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended
holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep,
caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet,
where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves
to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the
necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal
surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in
the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.
There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply
the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing
into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish,
stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be
a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill
just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset
is worth the risk.
As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would
expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly,
cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger.
Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile
disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been
performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass
is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly
proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence.
They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's
Own Country"). THE IRRITATING THING ABOUT THIS IS THEY MAY BE RIGHT.
TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason WHATSOEVER.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you
think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning is imperative.
Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained
linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
Wear thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are
people nearby
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you
at all times, or you will die.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is
always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS
They waddle when they walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount
vouchers stuffed in their wallet or purse.
They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large
fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place,
that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't
be called "Woy".
Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it’s a must-have.
They don’t think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to
handle.
They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.
They all carry a stick.
Hilarious, Saturn! I enjoyed it tremendously!
Now I hardly know how to break the news to you ... but...er.. well maybe your memory "has completely deserted" you. I live on the West Coast of the U.S. near Portland, Oregon. No sheep here! Plenty of rain, but no sheep.
This doesn't change my affection for you, Morph! Keep posting.
J
I was close..........it was a foreign country. Mind you in my book, Americans, Australian and British are very similar in a lot of ways and core values. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it even though I geographically misplaced you.
Morph xxx
Thanks for sharing that Morph I enjkoyed it tremendously too.
Hattie
If I get more suitable stuff from Oz I will post it...........a lot of what I get is pictorial though, which unfortunately will not post on here.
My friend Trev in Oz flies his own plane. I get fantastic shots of Oz from the air as well as the many places he visits. He is in his 70's with more energy than a 20 year old.
On one occasion his photos were of a jungle clearing he was trekking through. In the clearing was a huge pond in which they were all having a swim to cool off.
I wrote back asking if it was safe. He said yes, although there were crocks. He added fresh water ones don't eat humans.....only salt water ones do.
I asked how you tell the difference.....he said ''I have no idea''. I assume he was joking.
Two friends of mine were going to Oz on holiday. He immediately insisted they extended their holiday and stayed with him and his wife. He picked them up and even let my mate fly the plane. The friendliness he displays to someone he has never met is incredible.
I don't fly so we have never met in person. I have a standing invitation to go over.......by boat if necessary. My friends who stayed with them loved every minute of it.
Our original contact was due to photos I posted on the net of where I used to live. Over the years we have become firm friends. This proves to me the value of the net.
Glad you both enjoyed his tongue in cheek observations. He makes me laugh and educates me at the same time.
Morph xxx
Meanwhile......I am waiting for the milkman who delivers around 1.00am.
I do this because if Mrs Morph has to get the milk in, and the next door neighbour spies her in her dressing gown, it could prove fatal.
Mrs Morph is 5ft 2ins tall and a size 12.......but in winter attire........big furry ug boots and huge fluffy dressing gown..........she looks more like a sumo wrestler.
I gaze upon this vision of loveliness and wonder what happened to the bay doll nighty and the dainty slippers.
I was once brave enough to ask..........only to be told............warmth is a basic human necessity......upon which I turned over and went back to sleep.
Here are some notes left for milkmen.......
No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because I playing bingo in one of those bingo sites.
So sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
Hi
Feeling Good is track 8 on my music album . . .
I’ve started a new Forum thread called Music kicking it off with a rather unique way of describing my own Parkinson’s journey . . .
The electronic music album 'Weird Medicine' is the story of my 12 year battle with the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease and the associated side effects of the drugs and medical treatments.
The album has been produced by me under the tongue in cheek pseudonym DrBolix and is available for download worldwide on iTunes, Spotify and most online music outlets.
Half of all net royalty proceeds from the 'Weird Medicine' album is to go to to Parkinson’s research. For further details visit my website at www.DrBolix.com or hear the album now at https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/id954855121
Research has shown that Music improves brain function one of the benefits being to help produce Dopamine which is the chemical in the brain that Parkinson sufferers continue to lose as the disease progresses.
As I'm sure you are aware there is currently no cure however there are many medicines that for a period of time reduce the symptoms. However, these medicines come with the inevitable 'may cause side effects’ on the accompanying leaflet hence Track 4 on the 'Weird Medicine' album.
I would add that I am not of course a Doctor and that the pseudonym DrBolix is purely designed to attract attention.
This project could raise some serious money for Parkinson’s research please support the album by (obviously buying it) and/or forwarding this information to all your friends and contacts.
Regards to all and keep fighting
PS you can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook
Today I was asked for the umpteenth time how I was. This requires the stock in trade answer of.........fine, how are you?
Why do we do this?
I was frozen, my left ear was hanging on by a thread, my toes too numb to step ( a line from Mr Tambourine man) and I had an aching heart from being dragged to town, for the third time, to exchange the Mother-In-Laws Christmas jumper.
I was on the verge of keeping the jumper and exchanging the Mother-In-Law. Yet there I am saying I'm fine.
The question was posed by a young lady who assured me she would not take up much of my time. I must be honest, if I'd been 40 years younger I'd have invited her into the pub behind her (which I was heading for in search of sustenance) and bought her lunch and taken up a lot of her time in convivial suroundings.
Instead she involved me in a discussion about donating a regular amount of cash per month to her charity. I offered a one off payment which was politely refused.
I find this mystifying. So next time a pretty young lady asks me 'how are you?' I shall reply,' not interested in multiple donations to just one cause'.
I much prefer to spread my donations around.
I do not think this type of fundraising is fair to other charities.
Anyone got any thoughts on this?
Morph
Hi Morph, 'Good Afternoon Sir' 'How are you' 
............I quite agree with you we should be able to decide at our own discretion who we subscribe to and not to be personnally approached on the streets to be 'put on the spot' to make decisions. I cannot abide those people who stand on the corner of the street either or hide in arcades etc., rattling there collection tins. If I wanted to give to any particular charity I certainly would not donate to anyone holding one of these tins, I believe the holder of the collection tin has to count the money themselves at the end of their day then bank it themselves,that charity who they are collecting for don't really know the person they have nominated, that collector could quite easily not give a true valuation of how much they collected. I was once approached by the charity for the blind to do a collection for them in the days when you had to post little envelopes through letter boxes then collect them later, I was surprised to find I had to do exactly what I have just explained, I could have been a very unscrupulous person for all they knew.
Sheffy
Hi Sheffy
I am one of those people who stand on street corners holding a tin and collect for Parkinson's. You are not allowed to shake the tin but of course sometimes depending on how I am mine does shake!!!
It is hard work trying to get people to volunteer to collect, It is usually pouring with rain and cold and blowing a gale but I do it willingly if it helps the Parkinson's cause. I do not have to count the money myself we have someone that does that (but I sometimes help them do it, but then it is not one tin it could be 10 or more that we are counting.)
I dread seeing a clipboard looming towards me in the street because I find it hard to get away from, them, that is what I call being accosted on the streets and i would much rather put money into a tin. I have my favourite charities but even they are becoming a bit of a pain now, they phone up and say thank you for your donation of 'whatever amount) but could you please increase it to 'whatever amount'. Now that I object to.
Wye
Hi Sheffy,
You make a very good and valid point. I hadn't considered the tin rattlers, but what you say makes perfect sense.........they could easily dupe the charity.
Maybe that's why they are doing this new system where you sign up for 12 months, at so much a month, and they refuse cash. I still don't agree with that though. If I'd signed for it I would not be giving the other charities a chance.
My normal system is to send a cheque to the charity if I deem it a worthwhile cause.
I am not rich so I have limited funds available. I have chosen charities which I consider useful. St John's hospice looked after Mrs Morphs son when he was dying of cancer......they are number one on my list. I did the tsunami one when all those poor people were left homeless. I try to do children and mental health where possible, as I have been involved with both.
I am certainly not signing up for twelve months with anyone.
Hello Wye
I'm sorry I don't wish to offend anyone, I am going on my own experience of what I have perceived. There probably are genuine collectors out there in all weather doing good work, and it sounds like perhaps times have changed in the way the money collected is banked. But I still feel a bit apprehensive about some collection tins.
Regards Sheffy
Hi Morph I also contribute to certain charities parkinsons and loros, the only collection tin I give to is the salvation army, I used to belong to the salvation army guides, and the organisation themselves do good work helping all. We sometimes wish we could support all the charities but then you would have no money and end up asking for charity yourself.
Take Care Sheffy
Likewise I am sure there are a lot of honest collectors......but.....every now and then there's one who lets the side down.
When younger, a factory I worked in had a holiday fund. I politely refused to be in it. My mate joined. When it was time to go on holiday the collector was nowhere to be seen.......he was probably on holiday in the Bahamas. I went on holiday my mate stayed at home.
Hi Sheffy
That's OK. I am not offended but just wanted to put my side across as someone who does do collections.
Regards
Wye
Salvation Army............My Uncle Ashley was torpedoed and sunk 3 times by Mr Hitler in WW11. Sally Army kited him out every time and sent him home. He would never pass a collector by.
One lady collected regularly in pubs late at night. No one ever gave her any abuse and most gave generously. This might not happen now a days unfortunately.
