Is it wrong for a man to cry


#1
hi everyone i havent posted for a long time as ive been very unwell.i have been diagnosed with pd for about 3 years or so.its been a absolute nightmare .been in to a&e quite a few times as i was so unwell.i have been discusted by the treatment i got there they have no understanding of just how unwell u can be with pd.ive been sent home at 4 in the morning very unwell could hardly walk.my consultans is not much better.im now at the stage where i cant take it anymore the pain the depression .having no life at all.ive seen a mental health dr on several ocassions but nothing changes .now my consultant has changed her diagnossis to parkinsonism.in just three years this poxy disease has stripped me from being a happy out going person to what i am now.nothing matters to me.nothing interests me. and theres no point to anything.all life is bed tablets and floods of tears.im losing all my friends .putting pressure on my faimily.i think about my grand childeren and just burst in to tears.i feel my life is over .the real me has gone.sorry for such a negative post but i just needed to get it of my chest.so i end this post with tears rolling down my face.asking is wrong for a man to cry.god bless you all.

#2
Steve
No its not wrong, in fact sometimes it would be wrong not to, we all do it I'm sure. I shed a drop or two tonight myself.
If there's any place to let it all out it's here. It sounds like you've had a really bad time. A and E is never a good place, but with an unusual condition the junior doctors will be out of their league. Sorry to here about the change of diagnosis, at least with straight pd you know where you are. DId the neuro say anything specific?
best wishes
t

#3
hello Stevieg. I am so sorry that you are feeling so depressed and unwell. This is , as I am sure you know, is part & parcel of pd. And I can assure you, that from a womans perspective , it is not wrong for a man to cry. At my last neuro appt, the consulatant asked my o/h to come in & said something along the lines of "this is a horrible illness, I am constantly amazed at the bravery of those who are afflicted"
In my experience A&E is not a pleasant experience for anyone with a condition such as pd or parkinsonism, especially if you have been there before. They simply do not know what to do with you. And you ( or rather I) get the impression that the sooner you are out of their department, the better. I do try to understand. An obvious heart attack - they know what to do. pd symptoms - less straightforward.

I wish you all the best. And I truely hope that there will be better days for you and that you will once again enjoy the blessings of your grandchildren

#4
Hi Steve
Do not worry about the odd tear or two. We have all been there at some time or other. Just keep your head down and bash on with life you will get through it ok - more so with the help of your friends on the Forum. Trouble with A&E is that they are usually staffed by junior doctors who have hardly worn the shine of their stetherscope and have no experience of pd. I recently had to attend a large teaching hospital for eye photographs to be taken. I was told to keep still or I would ruin the photo. When I said I had pd and could not control the tremors, I was told that was no excuse. Enough said !!
Best of luck
Chunky

#5
Hello stevieg

It certainly is not wrong for a man to cry. As AB said from a women's point of view we have no problem with you men showing emotion. You are having a terrible time with your PD and it is such a cruel disease.
PD does effect us all differently in some it can progress rapidly and others can go years before it takes hold.
It is at this moment very hard for you to be positive, but if your feeling very low and sad this can make you PD rage. You may have to chat with your PD nurse they are there to help and advise.
Keep posting on the forum and chatting with others , as I am sure this will help you and make you realise your not alone in this journey.
It seems at some point we all get sad, depressed and frustrated with IT. When these feelings take hold with me I just think of those I hold so Dear and my beautifil grandson. Cheers me up!!!
Stevieg please be strong very best wishes from PB X

#6
It's a bit of a bugger mate, but we have all been there.

Best wishes

C

#7
I cried during every episode of Little House in the Prairie. So to get landed with Parkies was a disaster.

Over time I've cried less, I've grieved for myself, now I'm all washed out. Having said that I was in with the GP a week ago and she aked my "So, how are you coping?".

All I could say was "Don't ask me that" and started crying.

9 Years ago I told my ex-GP that I wasn't coping. I was given an appointment with a psychiatric nurse, who after a few questions deemed that I didn't need anything. I was to go and join a PD group.

It turns out we pwp's need to see a clinical psycologist.

You aren't just a bit miffed at being diagnosed with PD. You have a chemical imbalance thats causing your depresion.

I resolved if I wanted to get sorted I'd have to do it myself.

There is loads of support here on the forum and through PD UK helplines, litrature, groups, books.

Therele is a plethora of help available Occupational therapy, physoio, n utritionist, clinical psycologist, nutritionist. You've paid for it. Use it.

You just keep doing what you have always done, being the best you can be for your family.

Teach them you don't lie down to nuthing, that you fight the fight.

I wish you all the best

#8
Hello Steviog If it was wrong for you to cry ,you would not have any tears.Don't hold back your emotions.Angel4ux

#9
NEVER!

Never ever bad to cry men or women to get by whether caused by chemical issues
just let it out and pass the tissues!
Yes a man am I and yes from time to time I cry!
Whilst we are male its plain to see that we are coping with PD; and if sometimes you get a lump don't think that you are being a chump, just remember that if your sad turn to those who no how bad this condition may be and talk with those who truly see.

BJS :grin:

#10
Hi stevieg,
Believe me,I know Exactly how you feel.Could write reams here which echo just how you are feeling.As for crying,tears flow from sensitive souls,the caring and those who are hurt beyond the norm.Whether a woman or a man,it is irrelevant.When that nerve is touched those floodgates open.I have permanent rivulets.
I have not been posted much lately,apart from poems,mostly relating to how you/we feel right now.All I can say is hang on in there,you are not alone.Will be thinking about you,and here for you.
Take care
Titan

#11
I too know just how you feel. With me I cry most times because of the frustration and not being able to help my wife with anything. I get so cut up having to sit there and watch her do everything. I start to feel useless and then start telling her she should dump me in a home somewhere and have a better life. This gets her annoyed, which is understandable. I don't see anything wrong with a man crying. At least it shows you have a heart and feelings. Never bottle it up, It'll only get worse.

Regards
Mick

#12
I only cry when people are nice to me so if I had received all the wonderful support on the preceding pages we would have had to call a lifeboat!

Hang in there fella you are not alone!

#13
thanks everyone for your kind words and supporti have been taking cetalopram 30mg a day for about 3 years ny mental healt dr has tod me to stop and put me on mirtazapine.ive stopped the citalopram for about 3 weeks ive been reading the withdrawal effects this drug can give you.has anyone else been taking this drug and stopped. did you get any nasty withdrawal effects .once again thanks to all.god bless you

#14
Hello again

I also take Citalopram(not sure me spelling is right) 20mg every morning, want to come off them but have heard about the terrible side effects. Apparently you just can not stop taking them you have to be weaned off.

Good luck

PB X

#15
the trouble is the drs never tell you about the bad effects you can get when you stop taking them

#16
correct my friend. I am dreading it not only because of the side effects but I simply can not afford to have time off work, which I probably would need. A vicious circle really stevieg.

#17
I was diagnosed 6 years ago and have been lucky that my PD has progressed only slowly. I have so much to be positive about but despite that depression has had a much bigger effect on my life & work than the motor problems. I've been to some pretty low places.

My Neuro & Psychiatrist have tried me three different antidepressants - first citalopram then amitriptyline now settled on escitalopram. In each case they guided me to ramp up & down the doses to avoid nasty side effects. If your doctors won't guide you try the Parkinson's UK helpline - the superstars there will help you.

and - no - its not wrong for a man to cry. Neither is it wrong to come here and let off steam because you are struggling.

EF

#18
Hi, I suffered terrible depression about a year after my dx 12 years ago. My neuro told me it is part of PD and prescribed Venlofaxine, I've never regretted taking them and I remain on them to this day. Managing the physical symptoms of PD is tough enough without suffering depression too, I would say to anybody do not hesitate see your doctor and sometimes a good hard cry is needed, whether woman or man.

Take care
Glenchass

#19
Cry? I could have floated the bloody Titanic by now. I sob so long and hard that I shock myself, BUT I feel much better.
I cannot be glib ( well I can) it is too easy: please keep talking. This is a good forum and is peopled by good people.
You have grandchildren, they need you to show them how.............

#20
Hi Stevieg..

NO.. NO.. NO... good days... bad days... you cry, mate...

On diagnosis I felt euphoric 'cos things hadn't been right for a while.. and at last somebody had sorted me out! - euphoria lasted till the next morning (and you can guess - well you know - the rest)...

Joining others, I happily confess to crying for my kids, my lovely wife... the things that will never be the same again.. (I used to run a lot - and used to take my gear on holiday so have run in lots of different places - now relegated to, albeit, a pleasant memory - but I ache when I see other people out there doing what I used to do)... That's probably a very selfish and therefore not a good example..
but you know what I mean..

I was sent to a Consultant Psychiatrist for assessment for meds to help anxiety/depression and he was so perceptive I ended up crying and him hugging me..
I always was a little bit emotional, but now find certain music.. books... people... conversations... all these things and more can 'start me off'...but where we're at is a difficult place.... but...

... you will know, and be assured, you are now amongst understanding friends.. on the Forum and the HelpLine there are some ordinary, but very special, people..
stick with it and stick with us... come and shout sometimes... come and pour it all out... but never, ever feel you're anything of a lesser person - you are, like so many here, a brave, humble, and vulnerable human being.. Please keep in touch..
and next time I cry I shall think about you...bursardavid