Hi Cc - I'm one of those 'northerners' i've never come across these west country border control guys, been to that beautiful part of the country and always had a warm welcome - so be careful what you say or I won't make you any more scrumptious breakfasts for you in the NES! (we're not all bad)(by the way i'm joking!)
Hope you are keeping well my friend - Sheila
Hi Sheffy. No you won't have run into them as they are only by appointment for men of a certain age! Not fine young ladies such as yourself, we're like a classy nightclub ( don't know if you have such things up there?) pretty women get in free ! LOL. As Mr S would say I'll be back.
Live well. Cc
Hi Fed, me and TeeHee are plotting to come to Geordieland, as we speak. How does May or June sound to you? (you'll probably say they sound like girls' names....knowing you.)!!!
I need to get settled in my new pad, before embarking on new adventures. But will let you know soon. All the best.
Twinks..
Hi Cc - I'm a geordie exile, and live in the Midlands now, but if you take a trip up there have a good time, and watch out for the blues and two's!!
Enjoy
Sheila
Hello Twinks June wood be good it would be excellent to see you
Oh they are boys names by the way or men, James May and the 6th of June there were a lo of boys involved in that, June 6th and if it wasnt for there bravery i would not be typing this post , also I had a mate called Paul June, hes dead now, died on 1st of June
FED
Hi Fed.......We'll concentrate on June, then.....whether she likes it or not! 'Tis the month of my birth, so maybe avoid the 24th., as celebrations could be taking place elsewhere! TeeHee and I will attempt to arrive together and claim the prize money, to share! Should be an interesting visit! Hope your OH is happy with all this??
Twinks.
Hello Twinks it would really make my day to meet you and my delight will reach the world record velocity of 'MARK 12 NOT TO BE CONFUSED with MACH12, (Average after 4 runs to the post box on the corner) the presence of TeeHeee, i whom I have awarded you A EXTRA e for offering to accompany our colleague TWINKS on what can be a daunting journey to the Badlands , however I will have you picked up at Newcastle Central by my Beautful Daughter or Daughters Jenny and Sarah both have just purchased new SUV which will seat 6, however should you be travelling in your own vehicle it could not be easier to find the WILLOW FARM i WILL send a post giving directions that beleive me no one on this massive world of ours could get lost,, well maybe a true lady but crap when dealing with any form of Navigation she happens to be wed to a rather attractive kind generous thoughtfull handsome with lovely blue eyes, goes by the name of FED, HE IS SO MODEST DID I MENTION THAT,,NO?? oh well I am oops( Bag cat out of) never mind, iM OFF FOR A shower I will only be 1hour so look out for more exciting news about visiting MY HOMELAND B F N FED
Looking forward to meeting you Fed, I am sure the twinks tee hee combo will land safely in June xx
Hello Teee Hee, yes I am looking forward to it Lady j of grey cottage if you read this could yo give dates of your visit to Northumberland , it would be good if we could meet up, also T and T A Holliday in is a short walk so you could do a overnight I WILL SEND ALL INFO IF YOU WISH TO DO THIS it would break the journey for you let me know on this, im going to stop now as im shutting down but if you drive its up the a19 through the pipe to ANNITSFORD TURN LEFT AT THE FIRST SLIPROAD AND 2ND LEFT AT THE ROUNDABOUT NOT STRAIGHT ON OPPO THE SKODA DEALER AND THE WILLOW FARM PUB IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU MUST GO CNTTYPE SODDDIT BFN
FED
Hello Twinks and TeeeHee,if you do stayover you are wellcome to visit us my e mail is on this forum and you are welllcome to contact me if you so wish there has not been much interest pity but even if no one else feels as curious as us well I can show you the sights.
B F N FED
Hi Fed,
Give it time there are plenty of northeners/scots on this site and you are inviting everyone warts and all, which is great news . So lets hope a few more get on board with all their little warts , xx
p.s southeners and middle england too!
Hi Fed, Yes it would be good if we could make our visit coincide with J of Grey Cottage coming to Northumberland too. I think a night at the Holiday Inn would be a splendid idea as well. TeeHee and I plan to come by train, so if your daughter/daughter's wouldn't mind picking us up from the station, that would be excellent, thank you. How will they recognise us? In fact how will TeeHee and I recognise each other, as we've never met before? How will we recognise YOU? Maybe carry a rose between our teeth, or some other way of attracting attention.......I'm sure you'll think of something!!
Twinks.
I thought Feds daughters could stand at the railway station with a sign Twinks/TeeHee like they do at airports 
Twinks and I meeting at Sheffield railway station Mmmm lets see, I will be carrying an issue of PD research under my arm should we be staying overnight I will have "spotty" wth me my trusted travel companion a black little case with huge white spots on. Listen very carefully as I will only say this once. Twinks I will wait for you to approach me, so I can be sure it is you , the code is " the chicken is in the chateau" I will reply " the fox is in the woods""
I shall approach you very carefully TeeHee and will wear a beret, a red spotted scarf and trench coat. The code words will be spoken and our journey will commence. I may or may not, have the original painting of the Madonna with the big boobies, tucked inside my coat. We must be watchful and at our journey's end, look for our accomplice bearing the code names. Hopefully we will be ferried away to our secret destination to meet THE ONE......
Are we mad, or what????? Hehehe
The SILEYS or even the SMILEYS represent l to r me and my daughter Jennifer, she is and always has been a happy child and yes e will pick yu up at the CENTRAL STATION, jEN WORKS SHIFTS AT THE NEW HOSPITAL in Cramlington but if she cant pick you up my firstborn child Sarah will be available im sure she also works shifts but worry not Twinks there wil be someone there I will send of a email to FEDEX AND ask for some FEDEX stickers or baloons which I shall stick n my head the allooooons will be fastned to my ears and secured with plasticene to my nose so all yu and your travel buddy TeeeHee have o do is look out for some titheed wih FEDEX BALLOOOONS AND STICKERS ON HIS FORE HEAD and that young lady will beee meeee , INCIDENTLY IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT of nether of my children being able to pick you up there is a brilliant METRO SYSTEM, when you alight from your train after vey pleasant journey i hope walk towards the exit but do not exit, instead bear, yes there are bears but they are a domesticated form of GRIZZLY if one approaches you please do not run away as they see this as playtime and wil quickley catch you up and nock you AR??E OWER T@@, IF YOU GRASP MY MEANING so do not run, just say and I quote ( WHEYY HADAWAY MAN GO N HADAWAY OR AL SEND FOH FED IN HEEL BELT YI ROOND THE HED or HEED AT THE mention of my name the big animal should be ON THE RUN If not look for one of the a porter with a AK47 Assault rifle but bears of all species react to poetry as I discvered on a trip to ALASKA but thats another tale now as I was about to say beearfor I was sidetracked if you bear to the right and you wil see the sign s for the METRO HEAD FOR THE PLATFORM FOR SHIREMOOR there are maps iside so you will be able to follow your journey but be prepared to leap from your carriiage as the train dont stop at shire moor due to attacks by the Nasties you can easily spot them they ponce around in jack boots, poor old Jack he has been making boots for 122yrs and the last time I saw him he was woking on a JAGDPanzer ,a type of self propelled Anti Tank Gun, well these youngsrers have to have a hobby and they love their Tanks oh what fun they have flattening cars in SAINSBURYS,,,?? I actually bought a well used CHALLENGER2 for £2000 for my dearest I was sick of blokes laughing as she attempted to parallel park they dont laugh at her now it uses a bit more fuel than our little TOYOTA YARIS 12 gpm mile as opposed to 53mpg for the little Toyota , now as EYE was about to infom you after gleaping for safety from your speeding train I will be waiting fo youse, dearest new buddies, and dont forget ex USAAF FLAK JACKET as worn by USAAF Aircrew WW2 I can supply free for the lotal time spent in GEORDIELAND anyway fear not you wii kow me instantly and will not beleive me when I tell you im 66 "" NO REALLY "" a intoxicating mix of Clint Eastwood ,, the guy in the Bourne series Bob Redford, the guy who butchered Cassidy and lurking in the shadows, ( SHES ONLY SUUPPOSED TO COME OUT AT NIGHT) My dearest beloved LORRAINE so there you ave it my friends you may show some regret at agreeing to visit us but calm calm yoursells yill be ablle t larn geordie its aa fantasticway t taaaak man just ask worlass ower a pint uh GUINESS (with a Lagavullen chaser yill sharp picked up, if you get my email from my particulars and send yurs we can swop info, if you so wish, I will send pics of my homeland
KIND REGARDS FED
Hello Lady J of Grey Cottage
Well you know I managed to frollick up my Laptop and lose all stored emails well Ive donet again or GONE AND DUNNIT, as sung by that vision of gorgeouslynessexysingist, SHINIA TWAIN, , so COULD YOU SEND TO MY E MAIL ADDRESSS ,,,YOUR email address as one or two folks this side would love to meet you andd of course Ive lost the dates you are visiting Northumberland,
Kindest Regards FED
GOAD MAWNEEEN EYE CAN TEEL YOU ARE AKTEEN STANGE AND MIST AX YOU IF YEW ARE AJENTS OR SPEES LUKEEEEN FAW FEEED AZ EEEF YEW ARR YEW MAY BEEE IN GROVE DINGER ORE NOT,AS VON SMALLHAUSEN ANT COLENEL CLINKERBOTTOM HAF BIN WITCHIN EWE
, KAME THEEEESE WOY FAW YAW OOHN SFTOOO
OK i WILL WAIT A WHILE TO SEE IF LADY J REPLIES AND SET A DATE but remember its just a bit of funnyness so if you decide you dont want to come I will not be offended saddened upset depressed angry vexed raging suicidal murderous or any form of distress I will simply take you off my christmas card list.
FED
Well Fed......what are we letting ourselves in for?? Sounds like it could be a mad 24hrs. I just hope we can keep up with your humour and that you're not disappointed with a Yorkshire lass and a Derbyshire gal. I'm 67 by the way, but still feel 21 in my ever diminishing brain. I'm 5ft.11 in my socks and have medium length brown hair.
I hope you get a response from across the pond, as we often do the freestyle word thingy with each other, on the Forum. It would be lovely to meet her and hear about her books. It will also be interesting to put a face and body, to the witty, unique Fed!
Might be a bit quiet from me for a while, as I'm moving camp next week. But our plans will continue to blossom . All the best. Twinks.
