Telling -, or not telling - work colleagues


#1

Hi,

I'm new to the forum so apologies if I'm not in the right place to ask this question  but I'd really appreciate some advice so thought I'd give it a go.

When I first knew I had Parkinson's I decided not to tell my manager or work colleagues about my diagnosis as I just didn't want to deal with their reactions, and I still don't feel that I want to talk about it at work. I also know that I'll worry that people will look for symptoms -,which is going to make my tremor so much worse. The problem I have is that I have to show my driving licence to my manager's PA in the autumn and my 3 year licence is going to be noticed. I know it's pretty dozy to get so stressed about it, but I'm not sure how to manage this or what I can reasonably say. In some ways, I know it would be easier to tell my line manager but there is no privacy in the office regardless of  whatever rights I have. I live on my own, which usually suits me, but the down side is that I can increasingly make mountains out of molehills, especially at night, so any advice or suggestions would be hugely appreciated.

Thank you. 


#2

Whilst not wishing to broadcast my medical condition from the rooftops i still think honesty and transparency should always prevail especially to ones employer.

Thats my view, others may differ.


#3

great picture kyloe .i agree you must tell your boss,so he can make sure his insurance is up to date !


#4

Hi.

Cheers for the replies, appreciated. I take your points. . . Just to clarify, I don't drive for a living, just have to have business insurance to drive between offices if I need to ( and I pay for it myself) but I still see what you mean. Telling my boss makes sense, I just worry about confidentiality . . . Be nice not to have it broadcasted on my behalf, however well meaning. 

Thanks again.

J


#5

Also.....you have notified the insurance company and DVLA ?

Would be foolhardy  not to.

 

Thanks Gus lol


#6

Yup . . Have done that.

J


#7

Hi Jackson

i know that the law and reality don't always coincide. But you really aren't required to tell your employers of your situation (I'm assuming you're in England/ Wales/ Scotland.) You may well miss out on rights to have "reasonable adjustments" made to help you with your condition - but you might find that preferable to a feeling of being constantly watched (which of course sets off the very thing you think they're watching for).

Yeah, I know that mountain out of molehills worry. That's why my favourite track is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-prhaikK9I But you may find the PA doesn't even notice your licence is time-restricted. If they do, well maybe you just say you don't want to discuss it.

If it gets any heavier than that, seek advice from a CAB

Semele


#8

Hi,

Love the track . . . So true. It'll provide light relief when I'm worrying about worrying at stupid o'clock tomorrow morning.

Thanks for the advice. 

J


#9

Hi Jackson 

I didn't rely have much option as my symptoms are quite obvious , plus I had to go from working on hgvs to plant diggers n loading shoveles I've not hid wats wrong with me n everyone's been great about it, we even have a laugh n joke when I get rely shaky ,my attitude is I'm ill not infectios I can't help what's going on with my body and if people want to stair that's fine by me lol , I even been known to ask someone for money to watch the show lol that usually works and people soon get used to me and loose interest .

But then my avatar sums me up well I'm not shy n tend to take the mikiey out of every thing n every body I've found that's helped  with the pd as I don't get to stressed about life . 

Live well.  Cc


#10

Hi,

Food for thought, I probably need to work on a new approach, the 'ignore it' one ll only get me so far.  Cheers for the reply.

J

 

 


#11

I have told everyone I know that way when I am walking like crap they don't think I'm drunk and my employers have been pretty good still F/Time hours stage 2 told on June 15th 2013.

 

Honesty is best policy.

 

BB x


#12

hi bettyblue, whats this stage 2 .you talk about ! gus


#13

hi Gus,

pd develops in stages 1 to 5 stage 2 is usually where it is discovered and diagnosed and there is no way of telling how slow or fast it will happen your gp will be able to explain better so please make an appointment.

 

best wishes bb x 


#14

i have had pd for 9 yrs and nero reckons 5yrs before that,so total of 14 yrs  also have deep brain stimulation,never been told or heard stages in the whole time i have had parkinsons.! my dad had kidney failure and he was given stage 5 this means months to live ! as you know you can not die of pd so what would stage 5 be with pd ! think i need to google this. 


#15

looking at it & I'm a stage 4 never heard of this term being used before cheers bb, no need to make gp appt i think i know how pd works ! 


#16

Stage 2 is early stage PD lot's of nuros don't tell co's they don't wanna worry us unnecessarily. Stage five is right at the end it's advanced PD but as you say we know this crap is not life ending. So don't let it worry you.

Looking at your mug shot I would say we are near enuf to each other age I am 49 in December so stage 5 may not develops till we are well in to our 90's or even a bit older..

 

So take care for now and like I said speak to your GP or PD specialist mine is based at Lincoln county hospital Proff Sharma.

 

Best Wishes BB.


#17

cheers for that i have to nero s one for my pd & one for my pd deep brain stimulation also pd nurse & pd movement specialist nurse so I'm a bit spoilt for choice,  but i will not bother asking what stage as i do not see how they can determine this as people with pd have all different symptoms when there dx , also like me my pd was very aggressive , cheers thou bb .sorry what is enuf mean I'm a thick southerner , 


#18

i have just read your profile ! me & my wife swam with wild dolphins in cuba varadarol it was amazing your have great fun !


#19

thick southerner Gus i am London born & bread mate skin & blister & all that malarkey. Enuf is London lingo for enough. like we say barf not bath & wanna instead of want. Dolphins & planned for may /June nxt year.

BB x


#20

have great time! never heard that one before but hey learn something new everyday.