The Destruction


#1

Hello to  all,

                   I am  thinking how  I can explain my  disapearance , and silence,  ok  I know  its not  required but  I  need  to  tell  the tale as   its  not  nice as I changed my personality  so  much, and  worse  I look  back and survey the  awful wreckage and  destruction  caused  by  my  behaviour and feel  so  ashamed especially as  my dear wife was  hurt deeply  by  my selfishness,  I should  mention  that  I  have had   terrible  shutdowns and Dyskinesia  with alarming Prostate symptoms over  the last year but  the  hammer  blow  was  the death  of  my dear  Mother age  96 and though I thought I had  bottled the  depression  aspect  of   parky  well when my Mam left us a  new  war  fired  up  and  it  was  hell '

           My sad tale  has been  building  for  about  3 years with  rampant  obsessive  behaviour which  wasthe  need to   buy


#2

Sorry for the  break  I was needed elseware ,  but  this info  will be over in   a  few minutes as part  of  my  managing the OCB is  rationing laptop  time,  more  on  this later, as I said  the  need to  purchase items mainly die cast 1/50  scale  model heavy plant  trucks   of  which im  talking  hundreds  ,  then I developed what can  only  be  described  as  OCB   resulting  in  me  purchasing  some  fantastic looking  alloys  and  low profile  boots for  our Toyota  Yaris  ,  bear in  mind the car  already had  alloys and  only  weeks  before I had  fitted new  tyres  to  them this did  not  go  well  with  beloved  and a  major  flare  up  ensued  but  it  made   no  difference   and  I  still  have  almost  a  fetish  with  alloys  and  tyres,  but  the  most  hellish  evil  entity developing  in  my  head  was  the  return  of  the hyper sexuality,  dangerous  hyper sexuality, I  will  continue this  thread  later  as my alloted time  is  up  so  for  now  I  must  go   but  I will  continue  tommorow

                                        BFN          FEDEXLIKE  OR  FEDif  you  like


#3

Dearest Fed

Can I ask if you take a Dopamine Agonist?

If so, PLEASE ask for help.

This obsessive, destructive behaviour can be stopped if you change meds to Levadopa.

It is not easy and needs a lot of support but your life can be changed.

if you are not on DAs...still get help.

You do not have to have your life ruined like this.

Love

GG


#4

Hi Fed

   Welcome back mate you've been missed.

   Live well. Cc


#5

I was just  about  to  post  a  long  description  of  my  illness  when  it  vapourised  so  no  change  then,,,,  I will  attemt  to wrie  this  again  but  not  toniht  sorry  guys

 

                                       FED


#6
Hi fed not nice that ocb.gambling sex .drinking can rip you and family apart i had £41,000 bankruptcy think i was on premiprezole.

#7

coolWoweeeeee......good to see you back on the forum young Fed ....I haven't been on for a while but thought i would have a butchers tonight and see whats what....and there you were. I realised a while back that you were very low matey but i am so sorry that things became so much worse for you. Also i know how close you were to your lovely Mum and i am so sorry for your loss, she was such a character and you have such a lot of fantastic memories of her. 

I won't bore you with my escapades at the mo !! but when you feel like a catch up....or a rant ...you have a lot of pals on here including me who are good listeners....so go for it my mate

Meanwhile keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Rockin and Rollin.

Dolly x


#8

coolHello Doll

                Your  imitablebledelke  style  immediately  takes  the eye  Dear  Dolly  and  how pleased  I am  to  be  contacting  you  again,,  more  to  come  hope  all  family are  well  can  you  resend   your  email  to  me  as   my  laptop  expired  and  this  one  is  my dear  wifes   im  in  my  message  place

                                                        Kindest Regards   Fed

Q   Wont u come out  to  playaaaaaaaay

Q  Made  my  way  upstairs and  had  a  smoke,,  dont  worry  im  not  jumping subjects these  are  only  a  small  2  questions  for DOLLY  (AND  anyoneelse)   of  course  these words from  beatle  music

                                             BFN   FED


#9

 

My condolences too Fed on the passing away of your mum. Hope time will heal how you feel today and through the weeks. It's a hard thing to accept, and makes matters worse with your PD, but I wish you well

.

Hi Dolly nice to have you back, hope lifes treating you and your OH well, take care

Regards to you both - Sheila x


#10

smileHello Sheila and  thank  you  for  your  kind  welcome, I  have  posted elsewhere   re  my  Mums  passing  it  seems  to  have  made  me   stronger,, she  was a very tough strong  willed  Lady its almost as if her attitude to life has  passed to  me,  her  youngest child

                                                 Regards  FED


#11

sad faceCrikey Gus,  I am  saddened  by the predicament  you  found yourself  in  mate  and  I  do  understand

                                                  FED


#12
All in the past fed.another day passes

#13

coolGday young Fed...so good to see you  doing the Beatles quizzes again........Weeeeeeeeel Dear Prudence was the 1st and the 2nd was one of my very favs A day in the life. Triffffffffffic songs.

Did you get some Rescue remedy matey ?

take care 

Dolly x


#14

coolCorrect  Dolly, I meant  to  mention  in  my last  posting I have  aquired a most SAVAGE pain in  my  left lower  hip  and left  thigh imagine  the  worse pain  ever then  times it by all the stars in the  known  universe plus all  the  grains of sand  on  this planet.and you wont  even  get near,  my  wise  ?? young gp  said  "trapped nerve   take  these", these  being  painkillers I  believe well apart from  rattling  parkies  cage  and  giving  me  the runs,,,nay  the sprints, the pain worsened so back to gp, and so  on  and so on  well a bone  scan, XRAYS  (MANY)   a CAT SCAN is  next where am I going  to  find  a cat  at such  short  notice , I was  told I needed a  MRI  scan but  thats a no  go  as  the  tube  feeding Ddopa into  mt  gut  has a wire  in it  so  MRIs  are  NOTPOS  as  the  wire will either  fry   me or 500,000£s  worth  of scanner and wouldnt  that  please  everyone  in  the  NHS, I have  ideas of  my  own  1  Pstate  cancer,   2 Trapped nerve  3 the stooped  posture forced upon us  guests of BLACKHEART,,or a ALIEN tunneling  its  way out as   experienced by  John  (ibethathurt)  Hurt in the  best of  the Aliens series, it couldnt be  more painfull oh  and I now  have  very very  bad Dan Druff  I knew  his  Bro   Desperate Dan Druff,  so there you have  it  just how  many  times  can you  kick  a  man  when  he  is  down  eh,,onward ever   onward

              Is anyone  else host to  this  mariad of   wonderous torture types

      DOLLY

1  Apretty nurse is  selling

2 that grow so incredibly high   

3 a man with a foolish grin is keeping                                          fed  FED (i HAVE just  had  supper)cryevil


#15
Hi fed as you know i have dbs so I'm also not allowed mri but i do remember reading that are some mri scanners which are safe for dbs and your pump.maybe google search

#16

Good evening young Fed cool I can't help with info re scans but i will say that OILATUM is brilliant for Dandruff or Seborreah Dermatitis ( what makes you think i have been a hairdresser for 48 years!!!???? haha!) or if you want something more natural try massaging 2 tablespoons of pure lemon juice into your scalp and then rinse with 1 teaspoon of lemon juice in water. Repeat regularly until it goes .Lemons acidity helps the PH balance of the scalp and reduces dandruff.

Anyway enough of that ...what about the answers to todays quiz?????

Well of course the 1st is PENNY LANE...which i was given for my 14th Birthday by my best mate who years later went off with my ex Husband !!yep really. 

2nd is LUCY IN THE SKY....luv it

3rd is FOOL ON THE HILL...another favourite

They all bring back memories....some better than others hehe!!!

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeep rockin DAN  DRUFF !!!

Dolly x

 

 

 


#17

 

Watch you don't get the juice in your eyes FED!  E45 shampoo is good for a dry scalp, hubby uses it from boots

Hi Dolly, you got the answers I had, but did'nt post them incase I was wrong and showed meself up!! Anyway hope you and hubby are as well as can be expected

Take care both - Sheila x


#18

big grinThankyou Gus

                        I will look into that  I hope you are feeling ok , I cant have dbs  not  the right type of brain apparently,people have been saying that to me  for  years, what a coincidence eh?

                                                          FED


#19

big grin T hanks   for  the  info Sheila Dolly  and  Gus I wii try all,  as I am like a walking blizzard  and  keep walking into lamps and things,

 1       and kept my mind from wandering,,where it will gohoh

 2  came in  through  the  bathroom window

 3 though she was born a LONG

4   yes your gonah  be  a  star

5 ALL my friends  have  lost  their way

6   PC41 said wevelol


#20

Hi Sheffy....Sorry i have not chatted for a while, i haven't been on here much recently. My poor mum is back in hospital, well for the last 6 weeks since yet another fall this year. She is very low and weight bearing is becoming almost impossible, sadly she will not be able to return to her flat and so my Sister and i are spending much of our time finding the right care home for her, in between spending as much time with her as we can. I had no idea the difference between them all and the price!!! but she comes first and  is our priority.

It has affected the old parky a bit with the worry and so very tired at times, which means that Mr Dolly worries about me! He is doing so well thank you for asking, the Prostate Cancer is in remission and he is in very good working order again !!haha! He had a Brain scan 2 weeks ago and will get the results in November, so we are hoping for good news again. 

What about you my luvly? have you had a good summer and keeping as well as poss? i expect you have been enjoying spending time with your little Grandkiddies? growing up fast and looking forward to Christmas no doubt. (oh dear ive mentioned the "C" word already) well i have seen cards in the shops already.....tooooooooooooo early! 

Keeeeeeeeeep smiling matey

luv Dolly x