I’m new here at basically I’m at my wits end and feel like giving up.
I’m 35 and have been my fathers sole carer (with help from my husband) for the last 8 years since losing my mom to cancer.
I have my own health issues diagnosed with fibromyalgia but currently under tests for MS along with depression and anxiety since the death of my 2 twin daughters in 2011.
I try my best for my dad do everything for him available day and night to do for him and take him anywhere he wants to.
A couple of years ago I found out he was calling sex lines I felt sick a huge row erupted and that was that I didn’t tell anyone not even my husband as I felt embarrassed for my dad and myself then it happened again a few months later huge phone bill so swapped him to pay as you go told my husband and after another row with lots of tears he promised never to lie to me or do it again.
Then on Saturday out of the blue he decides to tell me and my son who is 16 he played roulette On one of these tv shows I obviously gave a disapproved look and he said it’s fine only cost me £8 I was £41 up but then lost it my son couldn’t understand why I have given such a look but it screamed compulsive behaviour.
On Sunday while he was at my house at a family and friends gathering he decided to tell me he was taking a friend out for dinner as she felt down ( they met at a support group) I said oh ok as I’m a date he laughed and said I’m sure your mom would approve it felt like I died inside and I was angry he had said this in front of friends.
I spoke to him about this on Monday as I was crying and he said he wouldn’t take her out as he didn’t ever want to upset me I explained it’s not my place to say he can’t but he could have chosen a better time to tell me anyhow he said no forget I ever said anything.
So leads me to last night he had slept most of the day and told me during a phone call he will have to have a go on the roulette rig he can’t sleep I didn’t answer him and thought I will have a chat with him today.
So I’ve visited him today and after checking the bank saw transactions totalling around £20 I googled the company and something wasn’t adding up so I asked him what number he was calling he said he didn’t know so I looked at his phone after googling the number it’s sex lines again I asked him 3 times tell me the truth what the number is and he finally admitted it was sex lines I felt sick again and just told him I’m not sorting the financial mess again and walked out.
I’m ready to run off and give up I can’t take the stress worry and upset time after time I promised my mom as she was dying I would always look after him but I feel like I’m drowning in it all.
So sorry for the long post