It’s 23.45 on the day before my brother’s funeral and my son who is staying with my sister in law is doing his best to wind me up .
I know that sounds silly but he is 38 years old and an adult.
I’ve no doubt he is being coached at mind games by my other brother
Great uncle Bulgaria who makes the most of the things that he finds
Things that the everyday folks leave behind .
Only Barbara and Kieth will get that joke they have seen the photo
But I have made a promise to my sister in law to be a good boy tomorrow and I will keep it whatever games he plays.
I made no promises about Saturday though so we’ll just have to wait and see ::: Love Thomas


Hey Bruv
I’m not a great one for advice as we are so similar in more ways than you know
I’ve learnt ( although it took some time )
That if i say nothing and do nothing when people TRY to get a ride out of me THEN
I have already won
The satisfaction I feel is better than coming down to their level
As I said before THEY are the ones feeling GUILTY , so they are trying to feel better by making you feel bad and react the way they want you too
F*** em
If your boy and your brother are working together they are only waiting for you to react so they can blame you
It will P*** them off more by saying nothing
It’s not the point of being the bigger man but it’s the point of winning without saying a word
If you don’t react that will p*** them off more than by anything you say
If you react . They win
If you don’t react YOU WIN
The satisfaction you will feel will show you have nothing to be guilty of
Like I said I’m not here to advise but as my FRIEND . I only want you to feel good
After the funeral you don’t have to have anything else to do with them
They made their own bed
Let them sleep in it
You have tried but they have turned their backs on you
Trust me BRUV they ain’t worth it
My thoughts are with you
Your younger bruv Keith


Hi Tommy glad your last memory of your brother is a better one to cherish have to say Keith is spot on my late dad used to say it takes two to quarrel saying or doing nothing does, nt make you bigger nor smaller just Better it, s advice I carry with me now as I, m older I understand the wisdom with you as always


Last episode of this particular story
I attended my brother’s funeral today
And I was the goodest bestest boy in the whole world.
Even though I was made as welcome as NOVACHOK IN A NANDO’S .
Mind games were attempted but duly ignored.
At one point my lovely little boy (38)
entered the busy room , completely blanked me and said" hello Suzanne"
Who instantly turned her head and
stared out the window with no response
The baby boy realising his attempt
had failed made a fast exit
In the funeral ulogy the members of the family were thanked for their help over the last two years by name except of course little old me who attended the hospital every day for nine months and visited his home at least twice a week but in truth the only one who really deserved a mention in dispatched was his wife who bore the burden of care so being
missed off even the attendance list failed to hit it’s intended target.
Me and Suzanne made our own plans
to return home booking our own taxi last night .
And so my friends here ends the story were home and will return to normal life now assuming brave boy doesn’t try to contact me tomorrow which I seriously doubt … Thomas


I knew you could do it and bravo to sue for ignoring your baby boy
knowing your brother had a good sending off is great and you should be pleased with yourself
you were with him and visited him when no one else did ,
let the others wallow in the own self pity
your a CHAMP
Take care
little bruv
hi to sue


Hi Tommy at least you can now move on with only good memories you and your brother shared you were there when he needed you you can sleep well and at peace with yourself


Hi pal so glad you behaved and everything went well.

It must have been so hard not to say something. Anyway you have your own memories of your brother which no one can take.

Sleep well Tommy. X


Morning Tommy just checking that you are OK blew a gaskit last week bloody NHS is going to be death of me unless I, ve been banned!, be in touch


Hi Tommy.

Just wondering how you are.



Hello - so sorry you have all had trials and tribulations to contend with as well as your Parkinsons, in one way or another. The PD always makes things so much more heart breaking because our emotional side is working overtime and our feelings are all over the place. I get more emotional since being diagnosed with PD sometimes to the point where I start to imagine all sorts and things seem worse than what they are. If I get overtired is one of the biggest problems, I know many of us suffer from this. and it blows everything all out of proportion, then I would cry at the drop of a hat and my hubby has to bring me back ‘down to earth’!

Stay focused as much as possible - love to all sheffy (Sheila)


Hi @T1,

First of all, I just want to extend my condolences to you for the loss of your brother. I’ve been monitoring this thread keenly and I must say, the support that you have been receiving from our members (and your friends) here is truly heartwarming. I hope that it has provided comfort in some way.

In light of the information that you’ve shared, I thought I’d chime in to remind you that we are here to support you in anyway we can and if at anytime you feel as though you need emotional support to come to terms with what you’ve been experiencing, we have a team of experts ready to help you. More info on this here - https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/emotional-support-and-counselling.

Do take care and good job on being the bigger person during an emotionally charged sirtuation- you’re a great example to the forum community.

All the best,


Thank you Reah for your very kind words I think I maybe have to take your offer of support because I promised to be a good little boy for my wife and I was but I’m so ******* angry with myself and now feel like a total coward but it’s too late honestly you don’t know the half of it .
They even used the urology and no I didn’t spell that wrong because as we say in Scotland they spoke a lot of pish ( ask Barbara) because my mother has been gone 32 years and my brother certainly couldn’t hear plus they thought I would not be there they read out that my brother had been married for 43 years and my mum had said it would never last how wrong she was but she had four sons and it was the same advice to us and she was right 75percent not a bad average in my book there was even what you would call two profanities used in the UROLOGY and I just sat there
What a Coward I should have wrecked the joint regardless of the consequences … Thomas


Hi @T1,

I can’t even begin to imagine how upsetting it must have been to listen to your brother’s eulogy (even though I prefer your spelling!).

You definitely took the dignified option and didn’t rise to the negativity - that doesn’t sound like a coward to me. Good on you! You’re always welcome to speak to our helpline about this - they close at 7pm so you still have some time to speak to someone this evening.

Our thoughts are with you are your wife at this difficult time.

Take care,


Hi again to babswood, tommy, peter, & itsmylife, I’m trying to get back on track and get into posting on the forum again, I have been engrossed in the changes in my life over the last few weeks, and hope you will all forgive me for ’ leaving the fold for so long’ to do my own thing sorting out family matters.

sheffy x


Hi Sheila thanks for being on my side it used to take forever to wind me up but now I snap so quickly as I had to fight to get best care and support for my late dad anyway nice to meet you so to speak all my best wishes to you


Hi Sheila
Never apologise there is nothing to forgive.
We all deal with this in our own way
But we / I are glad your back
You were still thought of when you were not here
So you take care and we’ll meet again online


Hi Sheffy where have you been when I needed you as a good old fashioned
telling off always makes me feel better when it comes from you


Hello Keith. Blood pressure playing up? What have you been up to !! Put yourself first for a few days , turn that frown upside down …let’s blame it on the weather, it’s too darn hot
Sue xx


hi Rosie ,
i wish i could blame the weather for high blood pressure
they have increased my AMLODIPINE blood pressure tablets from 5mg to 20mg
im back in the community hospital for observation for my blood pressure
yesterday my blood pressure never got lower than 154 / 104 , pulse rate was a little high so they brought me back today to stay till thursday
when i do sleep its still 0ver 150 / 102
but im still smiling , still happy
im in the at risk zone but not the danger zone
but as elvis presley song goes
Im keeping an eye on everyone from here
i dont let , kay or kids visit me in hospital as with whatsapp video calls they dont need to come
also i dont like visitors
i dont mind them bringing me stuff as long as they go
also i cant chat the nurses up with others around lol
take care my girl , , i’ll be out before you know it
keith xx


Hi Keith

You seem happy enough.!!!
I’m sure time will go by quickly people watching. Hope you get the right results.

Take care